[Entries are now closed!!]
Heady Concoction (86)
Song of Acrimony
"Just SHUT UP!" bellowed a bewildered Bunny,
But Heena was licking her honey
While chirping changing melodies
Engrossed in performing parodies.
On song she certainly was,
All caution, to the wind, did she toss.
But Bunny was ballistic.
Not mysterious as her mystic.
Heena looked up...terror in eyes
Sticky finger stuck in the skies
"Why make a song and dance..."
She mumbled feebly in a trance.
Bunny was beleaguered
A bomb as if triggered.
'Joy comes naught for a song'
Misty eyed, she realised after long.
====================
Priyanka Chakraborty(78)
Nature’s Song
A low-pitch of the north wind and,
a falsetto from down under,
a vibrato from the clouds, and
a melisma from thunder.
Swishing of the trees, as if
cords being strummed.
Crashing of the waves, as if
bongos being drummed.
All together it sounds as,
a song from the heavens
in midst of it, there's the
cappella of the ravens.
I stand on the porch,
listening to my favourite song.
Nature sings its opera,
making me sing along.
============================
Dok Saab (99)
You will, won't you?
Won't you sing my song?
Written in the ink of love
On the pages of my soul
I have poured my heart
I can not be all wrong
Won't you sing my song?
Song of my love for you
Whatever tune it may be
Whoever plays the music
I just want you to sing along
Won't you sing my song?
These meaningless words
Waiting for you to kiss them
And give them your melody
Haven't they waited too long?
When will you sing my song?
Won't you sing my song?
================================
Richa Gupta(120)
"A LIFE UNSUNG"
It was amazing how she always found a song for every situation!! Like the day it was pouring yet she had come to meet me singing "badlon se aaj mein takra gayi..tumne di awaaz lo mein aa gayi" wringing her wet hair. I still laugh when I think of her singing loudly at her mother defending her messy room "chahe koi mujhe jangli kahe…" or her joy when she got posted at the border (Army Intelligence) "aaj mein upar, asmaan neeche, aaj mein aage zamaana hai peeche.." and today I see her…as they give her a 21 gun salute. Covered in the tri-color, and I can hear her sing "kar chale hum fida jaano-tan saathiyon" and I wipe a tear.
Mowgli (169)
Brazen heads; whining, mopping, mumbling, low,
Waiting; for a faithful hand, to begin the show.
Strolling so someone, the song begin,
So it starts and they, casually, join in.
But before, the artist appears,
All the trembling uncertainty longing’s built.
Hoping that their Beelzebub disappears,
When the song reaches crescendo’s hilt.
For a human artist arrived at zero,
Masses cheer him, “The Crucified Hero”
He sought to tame society, the rabid hound.
And bartering love, for a thorn made crown.
This man believed in love’s force,
His faith unshakable and reason its source.
Before his death thus moaned a song,
Misunderstood, misinterpreted for so long
Jesus:
“Sing me a song!
But-not-for-me-alone,
Sing out!
For you aare bless-ed
There is; not one among you
Who cannot, win, the kingdom!
The slow; the suffering
The quick
The dead”
Crucifiers and molesters; the people of ages:
“Hey zana,
ho! zana!
zana! zana!
ho! zana!
haaae zana!
ho! Zaaa-naaaaaa!
Hey J.Cee.
Jey C!.
Won’t you daa-ie fo-hor me
Zana ho...
Zana hai...
Superstaaarrrrr”.
====================================
Mandappa (111)
Song of the night.
The song of the night
Starts with the colour white
Whiffing clouds of grey
As the dusk turned late
Its half past 5 in some strange land
To corporate capitalism I lend my hand
Nowhere to run, my ground I stand
Let me listen to Dylan and his one man band
Seething trance pours out of somewhere
When will I get over this scary nightmare
Colours flash, some brilliant some rare
Im spinning around in my stationary chair
The night song ends in a flat
Because it ends with the colour black
I see no more as the colours fade
To you my friend, goodbye I bade!
================================
Nandini Sen (89)
His wife was in trauma and his unborn child was dying. But he had to leave them. As a professional singer, he had to fulfill an important contract.
When he started on his song, the fire of distress was raging within. As the song proceeded, the air got warmer, people started perspiring, flowers dried up, water began to boil, unlit lamps caught fire, flames dashed through the air.
Tansen oblivious to all this sang on.
That fateful day, Emporer Akbar and the world realized the power of Tansen’s song.
===========================
Truth Dude (120)
another day and another dream
and we're living
celebrate this and celebrate that
like you never had
your voice and your cheers
and no more tears
restrained love and a passion denied
my warm beautiful, beautiful sunshine
a stream of thought and a thread of love
the toughest binding
a home to go to and a pillow to sleep
just you and me
just you and me
together, we're free
in one place and sharing the time
and living a life so sublime.
like a song that resonates in my head
in adoring eyes on their love, hover
where a briefest touch
sets room on fire
a smile that makes life worth living
to serve your every whim and desire.
Chaos (53)
She will outblind them all
As she tends to her costume of malice
In thickening night, with her strings of pall
For her pride precedes her downfall
Alone she stands in the palace lawn
Where windswept chambers mock her song
Like a rare orchid so fragile in bloom
Waiting for her nauseous dawn
==============================
Vaidehi Kapur (116)
There is a lovely song
In the food of Kylie Kwong
In the rains of Kalimpong
In the flurry of Ping Pong
Just listen all along.
In the bird that chirps
In the cricket that blurps
In the toddler that lisps
In the Lab that slips
In the horse that trots
In the coffee with froth
In the wind that whistles
In the dancer that swivels
In the heart's beat
In a couple's meet
In a painter's art
In a bustling mart
In the gompas gong
In the dusky bong
In the prospering fields
In the cow that yields
In your loving pet
At life's every step
Sow some aplomb
Come on, listen for the song.
==================================
Sarang Mahajan (120)
“The wind howls oddly,” I whispered.
I was at the terrace of a forest guesthouse with its caretaker, who vaguely looked at the wild grassland disappearing into the distant mountains, where the sun set.
“There’s an old tale here, Sir. A battle was fought here and this land taken from the tribal-men. They were all assassinated. But it’s said their last man had knelt on the bloody field and sang a song, which can still be heard when the wind blows.”
.
Fascinated, I closed my eyes…
And yes, I heard a painful voice floating with the wind.
.
The meadows shan’t be green again
My son will never play
But to speak of my lovely home
My song shall always stay…
=====================================
Mickey the Monkey (120)
"Mere piyaa gaye
Not able to sleep, I was listening to the radio.
"wanhaase kiya hai telifoon………."
Jane was away, attending Rushmi's marriage.
"tumhaari yaad satati hai……….."
I tried to call her, but her phone was engaged.
Whom could she be talking to past midnight?
"One-o-clock and you are listening to old melodies on Radio Missy,
I am your host & dost Richa.
Online with me is the lady who requested this song.
Hello, what is your name?
-Jane.
Jane, what keeps you awake so late?
-I am away from home and missing my husband.
Do you want to say something to him, maybe he's listening?
-Yes.
-Hi Mickey, I am missing you badly, this song was for you.
======================================
Sneha (25)
Deep whispers tonight
Compel me to sing the night song
I and my solitude walk hand in hand
Amidst thousand lanes well acquainted with night!
==============================
The Devil Diva (87)
The Siren Song
Born at sea
of Phorcys and maybe Nephrate.
Orphaned by Homer
in the Odyssey
You are the trio
The Sirens
Unmatched
Unparallel in History
Half woman and half bird
Molpe, Legeia and Teles is the third
Singing your relentless song
Urging the mariners along
the rocky shores,
to their destiny
Your songs are bewitching
yet no one knows what you sing
you mesmerize
entice
beckoning ships to wreck
and sailors to die
as they follow your voice
slavishly
the song of the Sirens
Ahhhh the Sirens' Song
====================================
Konfessioner Singh (166)
[Not up for the kompetition]
Spots of green
Stare from a face of red
Feed empty bowls
Of the dead…
Coughing dry wheat
Mud simmers
Where once was Spring.
Four legs giving way
His black tongue hanging loose
For a sip
A single sip
From someone’s
Pot of clay…
With the possibly gold nose pin
The starry blackened gold nose pin
With
Two dots of blue tattooed
To tell
Her tribe;
She sells her plates
One for Two
Surprised with Three
Explaining
With pride
The use of each--
One for maize
The other wheat.
This red face paste
Inside my neck
My ears
Hissing in my ears
It’s dying song.
All this
While I race by nine villages
A thousand forgotten people
Ten crow-breakfast cow-carcasses
A child that walks on all fours
Another with no feet
A third with yellow eyes
And its a hissing blur...
Hear this,
Tremulous is the tune
Of a dry song.
94 comments:
Hi Konfessioners !!
"[Entries are closed]"
And I thought the deadline was wednesday 8 PM (was it IST ) :(
So I missed the bus.
Anyways, nice Songs !!
Will enjoy the klash.
I'm so sorry dok saab....kompletely lost the plot this week!!!! I'll just add you, I thought it was Thursday!!!!
Song...n Singing..all the way...!!! :D
Rush.me! Missing you this week?!! :( there's still time... ;)
@ Vaidehi, Devil Diva and Sneha WELKOME to Karma n Konfessions!!!
Wow....Songs n songs...so many....i think seeing so many entries..i shall vote comment first....!!
no point adding on the competition....ahhaha..lol ;-)
@ the konfessioners:
Mujhe apne last week ke paap ka prayashchit karne do...pleez...!!
okay..just another li'l tini-weenie query..???
If i give a title to my entry (The next week..that is).....the no.of words in the title are excluding the 120 or including????
boohoohooo...meri entry mein one of the words kind of got misplaced!! the word is "they" and it should have been "as they gave her a 21 gun salute" but it appears in the last line in middle of the song!!! anyway...now you all know its Shin Shin's fault and not my writing!!! hahaha!!!
wlcome Shelkome to all the new "writers" and where art thou ye old and faithful???
Singh,
This time, you can't blame me for relating it to darkness :P.
A couple of klashers do think the night has a role to play! My question to you all..why the night?
Yours
Meads of Asphodel
I hear beautiful music all around the klash this week.. :)
But where are the komment-shomments yaara..?
Komment-shomment! :-)
Are you all from Lucknow??
no one wants to be the first to komment, pehle aap pehle aap !!
lo ji hum karte hain komment..hum Rajasthan ke log bade aage hain har cheez mein :D
Heady C: seemd like another Alice in the wonderland!!! good rhyming though
Priyanka C: WOW!! i could almost hear the rain song!! the rhyming was perfect and no where did it sound forced, inspie the usage of "music" lingo well done
Doc Saab: kya hua?? "psst" "psst" nahi chala Garima pe to ab unrequitted love song gaa rahe hain?? aap kahan doctor ban gaye aap ko to shayar hona chahiye tha!! very well written
Moi: Fantastic...brilliant...kya baat hai!!!! can i vote for my own esteemed self??? :P
Mowgli: sorry boss too long...havent gotten around to reading it fully yet...but i promise i shall
Mandappa: the agony of the corporate life..well depicted but somehow missed the song.
Nandini: is it true?? i mean of Tansen's wife etc?? sounded a bit filmy though..you have written much better
TD: Mr TD are you in love?? or are you a lover spurned?? too roamntic aajkal!!! nice peom..can be a nice song..but it missed the theme somehow
Chaos: the first and the second para seemed discordant. she is malice and dark in the first yet fragile in the second. sorry but OHT ho gaya!! (over the head)
Vaidehi: welcome!! have seen you in Princess' SB. lovely "song" it is true..we just need to listen there is a song everywhere...but so many sounds can also create a cacophany..where do u draw the line??
Mooshak simba: where do u get these inspirations from?? lagta hai mujhse hi churate ho as mine seem to be depleting these days!! LOL...the song within your "song" is hauntingly beautiful!! but would someone on the verge of death sing?? then again when u knew death is inevitable one might do the craziest things!!
Mickey: o' ye of little faith!! ab to bharosa kar lo apni Jane pe..she does love you!! I like your host and dost Richa..heehee I actually did a little RJing in Delhi while in College
Sneha: Welkome...nice succinct..but why so dark?
The Devil D: welkome...oye kitne naye log hain is baar??
wonderful job of realting a heavy Greek legend with such easy rhyming. very well written as a debut
Princess: sorry but yeh to bilkul hi OTH ho gaya!! zara thoda background do to samajh aaye!!
My Vote,,,,shall think and cast. its a BIG responsibility and I shall weigh all my options carefully :)
how humbling to be a part of such a talented group!! thnks for da welcome..shall comment soon..dont wanna step on any toes hence will wait for others to go first :)
Richa,
I was watching a Steven Seagal Aikido documentary once and one of his female students said this:
"Taka Sensei always told me that being a woman, I'd lack the sheer brute force that a man might use to get out of a physically challenging situation. Hence, mastering the technique itself is even more important for a woman when it comes to self defense."
The woman in my song is not defending herself. The contrast is between her inner self and her outward appearance that looks fragile yet is malignant.
Yours
Randouri
Someone kindly emit the 'u' in Randori.
Yours
Typ-o
Gosh...Omit!
Yours
Hopeless
the background... I did tell you guys I'd pretty much been to the back of beyond, to nine villages bordering Madya Pradesh..and it's here that people eat rotis made of grass...the poverty is mind numbing as is the abuse, physical, emotional and sheer insults! These people belong to two tribes--the Sahariya and Gond.. they don't even know what a hunger death means, because if they eat one tukda of food before they die, the government says the death was due to some disease..
there is NO water, 100 people living off one hand pump, a whole village with all its animals living off one well which has only (i am not kidding) an arm's length of water left.
the labourers ought to be paid a 100 rupees for work but are paid 50/30.. little 11 year old girls break stones...kilos of stones. I asked someone why the hell do you live here..they don't know there's a world beyond this! They don't know about cities and things..women walk 80 km to sell wood and are raped by forest guards..pregnant women!
One old woman, told me that her daughter in law had died two days ago leaving a "modi" and "modaa" son and daughter..barely 3-5 years old.. the kids get (if they're lucky!) one meal a day consisting of a roti made of maize or wheat.. all the way to Madawara (the block in Bundelkhand where these villages are) you will find carcasses of cows..who died of thirst. I saw at least 10 cows trying to break free and enter into the village houses for one sip of water from matkas.. and to see an old farmer flogging his young bullock who refuses to move because his legs have given way...it's just something you cannot forget.
The first paragraph I wrote on the 1st of March at around 7:00 a.m. while crossing from Jhansi to Lalitpur, I had already spent one day in Lalitpur and seen some villages..the soil is red owing to a rich iron content..spots of green refer to the occasional patches of green grass, a face of red being the dusty soil and the remnants of what was a lake/river are now orange tears because the sun is this orange...you can see a blurry picture on my blog.
The jugular again, being an important vein (artery!?) is a river in this case..which is dry... when even a little water flows onto dead, dry earth it simmers.. and once there was greenery and plenty in these parts, hence "Spring".
The young 'un refers to the bullock in the background above.
She-- is an old tribal woman I bought these two plates from, made of mud, they were two rupees each I tried to pay her extra and she wouldn't take it but I managed...even though she followed me to the car! and the two dots are above her nose pin, which seemed to be made of gold..but since it was so old, I wasn't sure...the plates are used for cooking in a chulha.. in the flat shallow plate you cook makka roti and the deeper one, atta roti. I believe in buying anything that supports the local economy in someway, this is something I urge everyone I know to do too.. what's the point in getting a souvenir from a big fat cool shop when the real people sit by the road selling stuff that feeds them once a day!
The rest, I think is self explanatory.
http://www.empowerpoor.com/search.asp
a link to more information.
@ Chaos haha :)
Yours,
Chado.
Shin, I can fully understand why one can't forget all this. Here we talk about a developed/ing India, a prosperous India..and people are still dying of thirst and hunger. :( When I read your post, I fully understood where it was coming from.
Shinjin - This is soul numbing.
wah..wah.....missy jee......saari asliyat bata di aapne....!!! :(
okay...Komments-Shomments Ho jaaye...zara....!!
@ Heady Concoction:
Acrimony == harsh or biting sharpness.... hmmmmm.... the words portray terror, dearth of happiness.... :(
@ Priyanka Chakraborty:
Hmm......the words come alive....Nice picturesqueness.....!!
@ Dok Saab:
Who would refuse such desiring words, such pain in the yearn.... very well written..!!
@ Richa Gupta:
Amazing Thought...Song of happiness, song of Pride, Song of Death....Yet so fulfilling...so satisfying..~~~!!!
@ Mowgli:
I feel, is it related to the Christ...?? some OHT happening....Kindly clarify..!!!
@ Mandappa K C:
Don't we all wait for that clock to strike half past Something...!! Nicely Put Together.....!!
@ Nandini Sen:
Which raag are u describing here...?? Raag Deepak....?? Surely..Tansen had some Power in his singing....!!
@ Truth Dude:
Surely...Love and Passion personified... Amazing feeling... Flawlessly written...!!!
@ Chaos:
Such Minimal Words....Such a story...Thats a very brave effort!
@ Vaidehi Kapur:
So Sweet.....Little heartfelt story....Flwoing with flavor..~~
@ Sarang Mahajan:
Kongrats for the Last Week's Klash..Could not Komment but Read all.....!! Simple plot, told with honesty...??
@ Mickey the Monkey:
LOL.....Hmmmm.....Very cleverly Put....!! Drama, Emotions, Fashion, Sab kuch hai isme..!!!
@ Sneha:
Song in 20 words.....Amazing....!!
@ The Devil Diva:
Itni saari Mythology...History mein toh weak thi hi..Mythology kabhi palle nahi padi...!! Fir bhi....bahut saara Google kiya..tab jaake kuch aaya samajh mein..!! very thoughtful (by You) and painstaking (for me...) :)
@ Konfessioner Singh:
Fitting words for such a Dying situation..Pain and agony...!!
well..bahut saare Koments ho gaye....
My favorite...
Mickey....Meri shaadi mein baare mein sochne ke liye....lol..
Dok Saab.... very desiring...!!
Richa Gupta... Simple yet mesmerizing...
Mandappa, Truth Dude< Nandini...
Ohhhfffff soo many likings....:((
Konfusion Prevails.....
nce.... im waitin for someone to ask me decoded msgs in the song...especially if they either like dylan's "tambourine man" or runaway train by soul asylum....
shin shin.... respect and i understand... like they say, a thousand miles apart, but we've walked the same five hundred miles.
it exists all over. not only in remote parts of the country. all over. i could and hope to , write bout all that i've seen with my stinted half shut eyes. but ive seen far more than eyes that have been open through their life.
ive shown my friends (from the city) their first glimpse of reality. a reality that till this day , they still feel was unreal!
Princess: words dont exist...it is mind and as Nons said soul numbing to realise we are a part of such a world..and yes not only a part but also "bhaagidaar" as we see...read..feel something and then forget it 5 days later!! my field trips were similar just in a different vein though...
for you to have put it in words...I knew it was related to your trip but reading about the background sharpens the focus!!!
Oye Princess..i just noticed...thanx shanx and all for correcting the words in my entry!!
Chaos: thnx for clearing the cloud of not-understanding...tell me the name of the documentary puhlease..as a martial artist meself would love to know more. fully agree with the logic!!
@rushme: thanku hai jee bahut bahut thanku for liking my entry :)
Prompted by Rush-Me, I think maybe a little background is in order... I am an avid reader of Greek and Egyptian mythology and as soon as I was told of the word "song" the Sirens came to my mind. i did not want to get so much entagled in the myth and history that people lose me...thats why i wrote it in a way that kind of gives the background of the Sirens.
they were supoosed to be either 3 or 5 with various names and of unconfirmed parenatge. their song was supposed ot be so beautiful and mesmerising that sailors listening to it would blindly follow it and wreck on the island and die. The Sirens were hald woman and half birds so apparently had no physical beauty and what they did with the dead sailors...is anybody's guess..i guess!! :) there goes my little..now not so little background!!
When is the deadline ot submit comments? can one submit a vote before their comment?
Vote: Truth Dude......
Sunday is about to arrive.... so..may The Klash has its Winner on D-Day....Amen...!!
Ppl....Komment-shomment and VOTE!! Please..!!
:D
heady concotion: decent
priyanka: interesting words more than anything else...so ill give u a kudos for that
dok saab: too soppy for me:P mush register ticks along.
richa jee: nice. ironic cuz id done something similar with english song titles.
mowgli: nice take. diff, wont say more cuz of the wrod limit.
nandini: tell me more.
truth dude: really liked this...maybe cuz it seems my style ..
chaos: nice word choices. but id need some more.
vydehi: u new?? nice ! listen to the song or for a song???
but nice.
sarang: so real...aint it? true from on of your sojourns??
mickey: nice
sneha: the night song... :)
devil diva: new?? welcome!! for rue name and ure song... care for a cup of coffee. u seem very interesting. could gather cups of coffee and talk of tales.. knowledge. sharing. conversation. history. :)
shin: not up for klash. think it was worth it...
well, well.... tough choice as always... sarang you tug my heart...cuz u know i love the same kinda stories.. but for choice of words and flow of style , i think
MY WINNER: VYDEHI
@ Rush.me: Thanks! :-)
Was the rest of it a komment on my last klash?
@ Mandi: Hahaha! It's not real by any means! A total fantasy! :D
Thank you everyone for the responses! Mandi, I know (500 miles) :)
Hmm.. no komments?! I need to send a reminder!! :(
@Rush.me your vote doesn't count this week but thank you for being the most eager kommenter this week haha :) Big Hug!
Hi All !!
Itnaa sannataa kyon hai bhai??
Koming straight away to komments
1. Heady Concoction :-
very different take on the word, using the theme word in three different meanings, very intelligent
(is using gent a sign of gender bias, should it be intellilady)
2. Priyanka Chakraborty:-
Very musical ,lovely notes good rhyming, beautiful song !!
3. Dok Saab:-
Love song from DokSaab, great !
She will, have faith, and patience.
4. Richa Gupta:-
Kyaa Aapne sentimental geet sunaa diyaa, maine to prem geet kee kalpanaa kee thee aapse. aur who kanhaa hain??
5. Mowgli :-
Lovely !! (though had to google Beezlebub)
and how true !!
There is;
not one among you
Who cannot,
win,
the kingdom!
The slow;
the suffering
The quick
The dead”
Crucifiers
and molesters;
the people of ages:
6. Mandappa :-
Your Song sounds good to listen, with all those shades of grey, but to get the full meaning needs some reference to the context.
7. Nandini Sen :-
So this was the power behind his voice, but is this based on facts,
or upon Mr. Gowrikars Jodha-Akbar.
8. Truth Dude:-
Lovely song Dude, Loved the last para
where a briefest touch
sets room on fire
a smile that makes life worth living
to serve your every whim and desire.
9. Chaos :-
Who said Frailty, thy name is woman ?
Aman trying to interpret women , and how!
10. Vaidehi Kapur :-
Welkom, to the latest victim of Ms Kon. Singh.
Bird’s , Horses, Cows, Crickets, dogs, You forgot us monkeys Vaidehi Maam :) .
But its a lovely song, plenty of rhyming.
11. Sarang Mahajan :-
Haunting yet soulful
12. Sneha :-
Welkom, Sneha, but 25 words are a bit too little to satisfy the klashers thirst for such lovely poem. Atleast I am left wanting for more.
13. The Devil Diva :-
Welkom, Diva
(by now I have started humming the hindi movie song welkom, welkom, welkom
Lovely use of mythology.
(had to wikiped to know all about the sirens, very interesting, I never knew abt them,I thought the mermaids were the only seductresses for the sailors)
14. Konfessioner Singh :-
As always, a very literary……….
no... no... no....
I will not komment on your take. How can I forget you didn’t komment on my take on previous occasion, even though you promised 17 times that you will.
Dont you remember Monkey’s revenge, Miss Singh !!
(Nandini)
Hello All,
Some queries were raised abt the Tansen twist.....well actually I just picked on his Raag Deepak incident (arguably the most popular of his renditions) and kind of played around with it....its just imagination on my part abt Tansen's internal distress etc etc.
And no it was not inpired by Jodha Akbar - just that the word "Song" made me think of Tansen.
(Nandini)
Ok my comments & vote -
HeadyCon - "Sticky fingers stuck in skies"....sounds so nice. Nice, dreamy, fairy tale ish. Liked it.
Priyanka - Nature's song...always fills one with wonderment. Really melifluosly potrayed by you....Your write up makes one almost hear the song.
DokSaab - Ohhh waiing 4 the one to sing your song....unrequitted love!!!! Well written....the sad song.
Hope you yourself put melody to your song, and sing it for yourself.
RichaG - Song for every incident....she lived such a melodious life. And your take ensures that her song just goes on & on. Liked your creativity in this.
Mowgli - Jesus's song put in poetry....ummmm somehow my limited capacities was unable to grasp it full....but the little of what O think I understood, made me say "Wow".
A differently potrayed writeup.
Mandappa - "The night song ends in flat"....why??? Is colour black so flat - doesn't it have a rich melody of its own?(Probably you could find something exciting in "the strange land after half past fie")....Liked your different twang. (Its like Song sung blue...)
TruthD - The harmony song - right after Mandappa's "flat song".....harmoniously woven - has a nice easy feel to it.
(Nandini)
Chaos - A Woman's song - round about Woman's Day. Nice.
Vaidehi - Welcome.
Another Nature's song...and it takes your breat away. I've heard Kalimpong is awesomely picturesque...and you've brought it out beautifully. Very well tought & written.
Sarang - The song of a yore long ago....sounds echoing from the past. Loved the theme and potrayal.
MickeyM - :)) how about making it up to Jane sometime??? A big surprize party, gifts etc. for her?? You could've done this on Woman's Day.
As usual you've managed to cleverly weave in the theme (song) in your daily happenings. Kudos to your creativity.
Sneha - Welcome to you too.
Wish you'd written more....looked a terrific start - but ended too soon.
DevilD - Somehow your writing reminds me of the Phoenix (and its song)......Siren's song - must be very melodious.....nice crack at the theme.
KonfS - Way above the rest.....not up for competition & rightly so. This is like a classic. I dont think I can comment on it.
My Vote - Vaidehi
Priyanka - yours came close too.
Sarang & Richa - two others I thought of voting for.
I Object your Honour !!(read Konfessioner Singh
This is not fair,
She can vote for any one, leaving me under the false impression that may be I could have got her vote,
but to tell who was her second third and even fourth choice, that is unfair.
Now i would like her to rank every take so that I know exactly where I stand.
ok..
here goes for what its worth.
its an imaginary piece on a night of drugs and realization!
it starts with white--coke.
whiffing clouds of grey- is smoke
and then the realization of ones life, with the corporatism etc and what he really wants--dylan and the likes...
then moves on to when the high gets beyond the mellow state.flashing colours and seething trance, and hes half sane cuz he realises hes moving on his chair...
and it ends in black as he passes out... and ways good bye to the trip. !
Sorry guys...am kind of tied up this weekend.. :( plus my lappy has imbibed a virus...!! So I can't komment shomment...!! Missy..iss baar maaf kari deo maai..!! :)) All of you portrayed the song in different ways..liked them.. :) Thanks for th komments and everything ppl..!! My vote for Vaidehi
Whoa Mickey I didnt want to offend your sensibilities....I was just thinking aloud when I mentioned the 4 ppl I thought of when deciding to cast my vote...the perrson I voted for came "first" (as you put it) in my list....but the other 3 are certainly not ranked in any order....just that for me it was difficult to chose between these four.
As for your takes....I always read them eagerly, and give kudos to the sheer creativity u weave.
(And from nxt time I'll try not to think aloud while kommenting - promise :-))
@ Nandini, this monkey is just pulling our legs.. he must be backpacking to Timbuktu right now!!
My Komments !
(@ Mickey:- The numbers are not their ranks, just arranged in alphabetical order)
1st. Chaos--
Strength of women, very difficult to judge, looking fragile externally, and filled with malice within, Nice take , Chaos,
but the song was not very emphatic.
2nd.Heady Concoction--
May be like everyone else, you should also give some explanations, because I feel you have not got the comments your take deserved. Like why did you call it “Song of Acrimony” ?
I liked the way you used the theme word so differently,
“On song she certainly was”
“Why make a song and dance...”
“Joy comes naught for a song”
3rd. Konfessioner Singh--
I know you kould have said all this in 120, you just wanted to give us a chance, Missy!
Whenever I read your write-ups, I say, hey I have seen this and felt the same way, but expressing it in words never occurred to me. I see (or rather don’t see) poverty around me daily, but your take made me aware of that.
You excel when you write on a social issue, like your write-ups about the flowers being thrown in Gomati, or the kids in that protection home, or the old typist sitting in front of GPO.
4th. Mandappa--
Had I not read your explanation about the Drugs theme, this would have gone almost above my head. Very Kreative Song of the Night , Mandappa!
5th. Mickey the Monkey--
I know Mickey, it feels great to hear ones name in the song dedications over FM radio. Lucky you were awake at 1 AM to listen to your name and Jane’s voice.
6th. Mowgli--
What a novel visualisation of Jesus being crucified.
The song of Jesus was very true,
but that of the crucifiers didn’t fit into the whole mood of your take,
became too light, almost comic,
“Hey zana,
ho! zana!
zana! zana!
ho! zana!
haaae zana!
ho! Zaaa-naaaaaa!
Hey J.Cee.
Jey C!.
Won’t you daa-ie fo-hor me
Zana ho...
Zana hai...
Superstaaarrrrr”.
7th. Nandini Sen--
So what happened to his dying child, Nandini? Very imaginative take. But truly, pain brings out the best of the artist, be it a singer, painter or a poet.
8th. Priyanka Chakraborty--
Seems like you are truly missing the North winds in Dubai.
falsetto, vibrato, melisma, cappella , where did you learn all that jargon of opera ? certainly not in Lucknow.
9th. Richa Gupta--
Half of your take is in Hindi :), so what does your rulebook says, Kontroversial Singh (wonder why there is no controversy this time)
Lovely take Richa , I kan almost see that lively girl singing Aaj Mai OOpar, but why so tragic end.
How we Indians kan find a Bollywood song fit for every occasion.
10th. Sarang Mahajan--
The setting seems like from a scene of some horror movie, eerie!!
The winds in the forest do produce some haunting sounds
11th. Sneha—
Another Night Song, but this one appears unfinished.
12th. The Devil Diva--
The Three Sirens, I remember reading an Irwin Wallace novel by this name, never thought why he named those islands sirens. Very informative take. Songs kan be mesmerising
13th. Truth Dude--
Very romantic, and so hot. I feel this poem reflects your current situation. Getting married is such a lovely feeling.
14th. Vaidehi Kapur--
I wonder why it took Shinjini so long to rope you in.
So you hear a song in all this noise we kall life !! Nice !!,
but I felt there was a bit to many In the’s in your poem, sort of repetitive. Were you trying to bring it to 120.
My Vote goes to
The Devil Diva,
for writing about how powerful, mesmerising and deadly a song kan be!!
Though I also konsidered
Heady Concoction,
Priyanka Chakraborty,
Richa Gupta,
Mandappa,
Nandini Sen,
Truth Dude,
Chaos,
Vaidehi Kapur,
Sarang Mahajan,
Mickey the Monkey and
Sneha for the vote.
Konfessioner Singh opted out and Mowgli overstepped the word limit otherwise they were also strong kontenders for my vote
Thanx Mickey and Doc Saab. As Doc Saab suggested, I give a small (?) background to my entry.
It's titled the 'Song of Acrimony' to highlight the contrasting and acrimonious relationship between - Bunny (hubby) and Heena (wife).
The wife is a simple soul, trying to find happiness in small things. Here honey and singing are symbolic of the little that she wants from life to keep her spirits high.
But Bunny is the archetypical autocrat and can't understand ('is bewildered') at his wife's conduct. He goes 'ballistic' seeing his wife lost in her world of melodies.
Heena is shocked numb at his outburst ('a bomb as if triggered') and being stuck in this matrimony, her truth finally sinks in 'Joy comes naught for a song', ie. even little joys are forbidden to her - the price of which is too high.
And yeah, as Mickey and Doc Saab could so rightly discern, the stanzas play on the different usages of the word 'song'.
Komments following...
Dok Saab, I roped in Vaidehi!
Hi everyone. Am pretty new to Klash. Excellent job. Dok Sa'ab has been prodding me to come up with something, sorry I haven't been able to read all posts all these days. Just finished reading them. Amazing work guys, its indeed humbling to know such creative and talented people.
Re this weeks entries on Song, I would like to congratulate Richa Gupta. Amazing, mind blowing, I don't know kaise aapki tareef karun..itne thode se shabdon me aapne kitna kuch keh diya...baat jo dil ko chhoo gayi...thank you for that wonderful write up...keep it up..
Will try to participate now on...aapne mere soye hue ehsaasat jaga diye...n mere andar jo shayra kahin kho gayi thi use phir dhundh diya...thank u everyone!!
Hey People!
Sarang: Thanks for roping me in. I am glad i came, alas, at a wrong time.
I am head deep in work (if there is a phrase like that)with no interenet at my accommodation so I cannot comment and vote because i can't read all the entries though, I would have loved to. Anyway, will try to write more.
I scanned through the comments, thanks Nandini and Priyanka for the votes, the appreciation and acknowkledgement felt good. :)
For those who think that so many 'songs' in life make for cacophony....
Nature is all about harmony...all the songs that i mentioned actually make up a lovely song. All the sounds are like a part of the orchestra, they contribute to the song of nature.
malted socktail: I mean listen for the song and not to the song.
Rush.me: Thanks for the lovely comment.
docksaab: I was trying to bring in some rhythm by matching the meter of every line of my song...may be i didn't do it good enough or you missed it.
Will try to vote next time. thanks everyone.
very well done vaidehi kapur...welkome to the world of 'healthy'!! competition..haha
too gud compositions to be commented..all of us here are Gulzars and Prasoons..Wow! I emant ..all ov u here are..
Sorry for missing this one..Pressed down with the new job and new place..busy washing my humongous clothes..buhubuhu!
Advertising agencies are killers..I swear..ask Vaidehi kapur..she is my next room neighbour in Gurgaon!
Neway..very well done all of u..Mowgli..Kudos man!
Btw..I see two rush.me...which one of the two is real? original?....quite rushed up am I.
Sweetchild: awww thank you thank you...your tareef means more to me than a vote!! am glad you liked it so much.
Doc Saab: the tragic end was not intentional..I had the honor of knowing such a person in person and he was killed at Kargil...most full of life and bindaas person I have known!!
Since I have already commented here is my vote:
Priyanka
sorry, was travelling over the weekend. please bear with my comments since I am new...haha gives me a license to do whole lot of stuff!!
Heady Concoction: after i read your background, i really liked your peice..much more than i had at the first read
Priyanka: the way you have rhymed using all the musical words makes it a very lyrical read!!
Dok Saab: are you a doctor?? really liked your "song" how can one refuse such a musical entreaty!!
Thanks for your vote...it means a lot coming from a veteran like you!!
Richa Gupta: i do it too..all the time..i mean sing a song for each situation...well not all but most. very well written and more importantly you captured his spirit so well...we still miss him so..dont we!!
Mowgli: the biblical reference is very clear though did not understand the last part. sounded like a black singer holy prayer
Mandappa KC: wooweee me blushing..thnx for the compliment and yes we could and should get together for coffee, conversation and memories. after reading your explanation I suddenly saw light :) meaning i knew what u were writing about. isnt Dylan the one who died in his bath tub (?) with a drug overdose?? but yes a very good depiction of a junkie and his funkie song!!
Nandini: I am a big fan of Indian classical but this read more like a Govinda movie..or was it Anil Kapoor where he has ot go to perform while his wife is having a difficult labor..
Truth Dude:a stream of thought and a thread of love
the toughest binding..
wonderful lines and so true
Chaos: i am on the side of any and all ladies who are malicious, devilish and strong!!
Vaidehi: when nature is benign it sure can sing a beautiful melody but watch out for its wrath!!
Sarang Mahajan: I wonder if the Natives here sang that song when the settlers annihilated them?? its hauntinglu beautiful but for the begining whihc reads more like a novel or a bhutaha kahani
Mickey the monkey: one of my fav songs..what an imaginative mind you have monkey :)
Sneha: mein aur meri tanhayee?? :)
Konfessioner Singh: your peice is so..umm well like a konfession of a human mind and the vivid, graphic and cruel things it witnesses. cant wait to read your other "konfessions"
My Vote:
DOK SAAB
Since I have already kommented, here is my vote: Vaidehi!
Richa : U r welcome!! I mean the tareef, every word of it :)
everybody..I'm extremely sorry..I'm a victim of mismanaged everything, not an excuse..my komments and the verdikt will be in by 8:00 p.m. today meanwhile the votes are---
TD--1
Vaidehi--3+2
Dok Saab-1
Priyanka--1
And the winner is Vaidehi!!!
Kongrats Vaidehi for such a konvincing win :)
@Konfused Singh: You forgot to mention The Devil Diva's name in the votes tally!!
@Sarang: when did you Konmment, dear Sir ("Since I have already kommented")
@All: 15 posts and only 7 votes, very bad.
Where are your Votes
Heady Concoction,
Truth Dude,
Chaos,
Vaidehi Kapur,
Mickey the Monkey
Sneha
Mowgli
and
Konfessioner Singh
The actual votes tally:-
Vaidehi= 1+1+2(Nandini, Priyanka, SM)
Priyanka= 1(Richa)
Devil Diva=1(DokSaab)
DokSaab=1(Devil Diva)
Rush.me's vote to TD was invalid
Hi All,whats the word for this week? ie week beginning March 10
@Kaveesh:
thats me earlier...and another me in new acquired temporary specs....!!!
both are original..!!
Vaidehi in the lead..... Priyanka, Devil Diva, DokSaab following closely....
9 people more to Vote....Hmmmm...I think its gonna be a nail-biting finish...!!
Missy: I think we should wait a bit, thtough Vaidehi seems like the winner.
Dok Saab: I did komment, but Missy deleted it using her hosting powers. Just because I suggested some other names for her puppies. That's not done!
Hey, most of us have penned down poetry on 'song'! In fact, i'd planned on writing a tale and ended up with a rhyme.
Now, my komments...
Doc Saab I loved your 'psst' piece much much more. This one is great, but perhaps u could have phrased the third stanza a little differently, and convey the same meaning. Somehow, it's not in sync with the softness and flow of the previous stanzas.
Richa Gupta The choice of situational songs is perfect! Well crafted, though predictable.
Mowgli Lovely. Fantastic. Unbeatable.
Priyanka Chakraborty Lovely peace. Conjures up the 'nature at its best' image in the mind. Exactly what a piece of poetry should do.
More to follow...
Komments kontd.
Vaidehi Kapur Wonderful. There's a song on your lips and in your heart and in whatever your eyes rest on. Life at its best!
Mickey the Monkey Just loved it! Your words flow and merge so smoothly. They also compelled me to delve fast into the pot of suspense built so masterfully by you.
Truth Dude Almost ethereal in substance. Very sublime. Meanings conveyed are terrific.
Konfessioner Singh Like last time...beyond compare. Your background made me realise the full force of content conveyed.
Sorry due to paucity of time, am not able to komment on the rest. But will still try. Klash is fast becoming an addiction for me! Such a great platform and with what talents...
And last, but not the least---a hearty and warm WELKOME to the newcomers this week. I'm sure u'll love klash as much as we all do.
Aaaah...the suspense thickens...
And...my vote goes to Truth Dude
hello...all of u such amazing klashes n welkome to the new comers...there seem so many each time!i wouldve bin a part of klash had i not bin travelling to far of lands and was deprived of the net...plus i sent in my entry on a thursday being jet lagged i thot it was wednesday and so on ... i hated missing klash...enjoyed reading the takes tho...
pls teme next weeks word cos im soo eager to get started!!
Since I have already kommented, here is my vote:
(Since Voting lines seem to be open )
Heady Concoction
Hi All,
This may be my last Klash for the season, as my Kreator says he is a)too busy to write/Komment/vote for me besides writing/kommenting/voting for his own takes.
b)bored with my monotonous monkey themes.
I do not want to, but what kan a fictional charactor do but follow his Kreators kommands.
Till he gets some time, I'll miss you and your takes.
Good Bye!!
Mickey, we will miss you dearly.. a big hug to your kreator and you, for it takes a great mind to split itself so kreatively :)
mickey...tussi na jao!! i have come to thnk of you as an entity on its own :) come back soon!!
I eagerly await more votes....maybe by end of today we will have them??!! we need a new word too PRONTO!!
Ohhh Mickey - dont tell me that we wont be able to read your monkey tales for a while :-((
C'mon you're robbing Klash of its humor.....talk 2 ur kreator....maybe u'll b allowed to kontinue!!!!!
Mickey bhai, aisa nah karna. :(
Dok Saab, aap hi samjha ke dekho na isko!
Hello klashers! How are my favourite bunch of people? I am so very sorry that I couldn't klash last week(it was such a wonderfully musical word too!) Sorry Sarang! :((
Humongous amount of work and some more travelling had kept me tied firmly up. But for now, I have cut through them.
Eagerly waiting for the next word. I understand why we don't have a winner as yet. All the klashes are simply marvellous. I am glad I don't have the task to choose one, this week!
A warm(or would you prefer a cool one, since summer's almost here?) welcome to the new klashers.
Mickey the Monkey!! What are you saying?? Let me speak to your Kreator, I'll give him/her a piece of my mind!!
lots of love...
hey mickey
don't u go
we'll miss u so
and Jane too
boo hoo hoo...
Kaveesh uve moved agencies..
and well u can ask me about that... i havent had a breather in threee months!
AND DEVIL DIVA...
now ure stepping on the wrong foot... dont kill my dylan, cuz he aint dead huney!!! that was jim morrison...
uhhohh sorry socktail!!! :) Jim Morrison yeah...now i remember the many guitar jam sessions we had were mostly to his music!! and before you think i can carry a tune..nope..nada!! I was there just for fun and the booze..hahaha!!
so are you a adman?? Mr Socktail...what a lovely name you have..never did like the salted mocktails anyway :P
Wed. 9 PM and we still don't have the Word :(
@ Mickey : We will surely miss your humorous takes. I hope your Kreator realizes that we all would like you to be here often if not always :)
Hey Mickey Come Back! no no Just dont disappear, if its not ur "papi pet" which is pulling u out from here. u r absence will shake the klash and the klasher no doubt
well....well...
yup i am an ad man... and yes those jam sessions are lovely, cuz neither can i ever hold a tune...thats why i write :)
as for malted socktail... .salted mocktails are no fun, tho salted cocktails are good.. but this actually has nothign to do with that...
its a code word for molotov cocktails....which is im guessin u know what that is !
Moltov Cocktails...???hmmm comrade in today's world of amrican eavesdropping cant expand my views on the stellar quality of the above mentioned...hahaha!!! there have been times I have sorely felt I could use one too!! :)
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