Thursday 23 August 2007

Body

Body

· The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal.

· The physical part of a person.

· A corpse or carcass.

· The trunk or torso of a human or animal.

· The part of a garment covering the torso.

· A human; a person.

· A group of individuals regarded as an entity; a corporation.

· Anatomy The largest or principal part of an organ; corpus.

· The nave of a church.

· The content of a book or document exclusive of prefatory matter, codicils, indexes, or appendixes.


[Old Konfessioners please note! WE have some fresh blood this week haha.. Priyanka was unaware of the 120 word rule..since it's her first post, I'm putting it up as it is...! Lord Summer 'is a stallion' who writes! and since I've been advertising us on orkut a bit..we might have another 2-3 entries..could you wait till Saturday "tomorrow!!" to vote!??! Thanks!!! ]

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ENTRIES ARE NOW CLOSED

Kasturi Rangan (138)

King Of The Moaning Dwarves

Was born half a foot,
And grew just a bit.
My mum named me Ralph,
But the others knew not for what it was.
At 5, the Dog ate my left ear,
Mum cried, for why i went near.
But all i did was just walk by,
for the Dog to take me a Rabbit Pie.
Bald by 12, credit my cousin's craze,
for she took me cute,with my hair ablaze.
Clown of my own play,
Rock in my own Clay.
As the heaven took my mum away,
Away i ran the very next day.
If Brutal ruled half my life,
Peace, i forced in the other half.
At 90, when i still breathe,
I am, but 3foot full of Wisdom and Truth
And Joy as much, as my CRIPPLED BODY can hold!

====================================================================

Santonu (123)

("...its based on a true accident took place in Kolkata yesterday, the kid met with an accident and his brother named sandeep, lookd for help but cudn't get it in the heartless city.Eventually the kid passed away. Its not just on the body, i just wanted to feel how it'd have felt when u hug someone hard and feel the life slowly disappears. ..")--An extract from Santonu's e-mail to The Konfessioners.

Sandeep was clinging his brother's body tightly, under that afternoon sun, the whole road and crossing appeared blurred. Blood was trickling out from everywhere but he couldn't stop it. Through his tearful eyes he still could see the red mark which appeared when he hit him hard with the remote control in the morning, he wanted to kill him! and now he wants to stop him leaving his body, "Oh god, where are u, please help me..help me stopping me this blood" . He tried to stop him going. He clung to his body much harder, only to see the red scar becoming blurred. The siren didn't reach his ear as he felt he had lost the battle,life has disappeared from his body

====================

Misanthrope (96)

Intemperate motion of the fluid inside,
Causing my body to lose her stress,
Everything that defined her,
Leaving her unknowingly !

Abjured the adjectives from around,
Body became a container for my shapeless soul,
Irrelevant thought of understanding me - as my body,
Probably disturbs me the most,
In those years of incarnation,
I was wandering as a ghost..

Wearing my body & I am still not naked,
The monstrous desires of my being,
Covers me from around,
Everything human is leaving its shape,
As my body is strangled to the death..

==========================================================================

Priyanka Acharya (885)

"What...??", Neha thought, "not again..!!" And finally shouted at her mom, "I can't go through another humiliation. Please mom, why don't you people leave me alone? Please stop bothering about my marriage. It just won't happen."
And she stormed out of the room.
She sat on her bed, hugging her pillow, and reflecting back on the past two years of the melodrama going on in the family. She was 33 years old, not beautiful but attractive with good features, had a doctorate in English, was earning well as a lecturer at the local university, had a very engaging and caring nature, and always had a smile on her face, but the only obstacle in her marriage was her body. She was obese. Now that she thought of the past two years, the ten-odd guys she had met, had all rejected her because of her body. And she was feeling pretty humiliated by now, and when she heard of the eleventh guy coming to visit her the next day, she thought that she just couldn't take another rejection. She decided to do something about it.
She went to her mother and said, "Mom, I want to talk to this Mr. Mayank, who is coming to meet me tomorrow, right now."
Her mother was surprised, "But why beta?"
Neha was exasperated, her nerves stretched to breaking-point. Controlling her anger, she said, "Please mother, you won't understand. Now will you please give me his number.?"
Her mother was stumped, but nevertheless she gave her Mayank's office number.
Neha called him at his office. The phone rang twice before being picked up by a gruff-voiced man. She asked tentatively, "Am I speaking to Mr. Mayank?" He replied politely, "Yes, may I know who is this?" She said, "Yes, I am Neha. You are supposedly coming to our place with a marriage proposal for me tomorrow." He said, "Oh yes, but-" She cut him in mid-sentence, "Please listen to me. Please don't take me otherwise, but I don't want you to visit us with this marriage proposal. You must've seen my photograph." He said, "Yes, I have, but-" She again interrupted him, "So you know exactly how I look. In fact I don't understand why you agreed to come when you know how I look. The same scene will be repeated again tomorrow, you'll reject me after seeing me, and then make up some excuse, and I'll have to face another humiliation and my parents have to face another disappointment regarding my marriage. So please spare us." And she slammed the phone down.
She was pretty sure, Mayank would not come and had not bothered to dress up at all. So when the door bell rang the next evening, she was surprised to hear her father welcoming Mayank in. She was amazed to hear Mayank say, "I want to meet Neha right now." She was pretty angry at him that he had not paid any heed to her phone call. She stormed into the living room, ready to give him a piece of her mind. But words failed her. There was Mayank, handsome, lean and absolutely fabulous. His photographer hadn't done justice to him. Her anxiety increased, thinking that he'll totally reject her. She started to say something but Mayank spoke before she could get a word out. "I came here today because I wanted to meet you. I want to marry you." Neha was stunned. Was she hearing him correctly? Even her parents were surprised on hearing this. Mayank continued, "I saw your phoograph, and the first thing that struck me was the honesty and dignity in your eyes and on your face. I want a wife, not a model. I always wanted my wife to be a dignified lady, who is honest with herself and the world. I wanted her to be caring, loving and who had the guts to face the truth about anything in this world. And I found all those qualities in you. After you rang off yesterday, I sat and thought about everything you said, and I decided that you are the one I want to marry, 'cos you are honest with yourself, and you were being honest with me. What does it matter if you are a few kilos over the ideal weight? It is just a body. One day it will perish, but what you have achieved in life, how you have made others happy, will always be cherished and you will always be loved for that, not your body.You'll always look beautiful to me. So please marry me, else I'll keep calling at your doorstep everyday of my life."
Tears were streaming down her face. She realised that whatever Mayank said was from straight from the heart. He really wanted to marry her for the person she was, not for how she looked physically. She was overwhelmed and looked at her parents. They could not believe this was happening. They were so happy. And finally when she looked at Mayank, she knew that she would never regret marrying him.
The marriage took place 3 months later. And the couple looked beautiful and happy, and everybody was amazed at the change in Neha. She was the same as before, physically, but Mayank's love and support made her the most beautiful woman around.

=================================================================

Lord Summer, the poet (61)

My body is my car,
My body is my truck,
It carries me so far
With on my back a duck

My body is strong
But my body is slave
My master is scrawny
But he rides me like a wave

My body is why I am
One amongst a million
My body is what makes me
Summer, the great Stallion



=======================================================


Truth Dude (111)

She woke up softly, languidly and curled up.

His soft breathing made her want to throw her arm around his chest. The memory of last night reddened her cheeks.
A spark…as she softly caressed his tussle below.

He half-smiled.

'Wake up, soochi'.

'Mmmmmmmm, lemme sleep a little more', he slurred.

Teasingly, she drew small circles on his nipples. She knew he couldn't resist that.
'Debauch' she thought to herself.
'Grroufff ', she breathed into his ear.
And bit him.

'I need the sleep' and he pulled the sheet over his head.

'Not today, soochi.'

'Smoooooooochi', he complained.

'It's Sunday honey…and breakfast is served', she announced.
And she climbed onto his face.


Mandappa KC (120)

If you asked me earlier, I would've said a woman's mind is more important than her body. That was until I met her.

Her half moon eyes shone with more luster that polished ivory of a freshly humped elephant. And her face was enough to make ones heart freeze.

Then she slid off her jeans, her dusky complexion like a night out in the wild lit by a hovering moon. Her colour, her texture her tone was enough to wipe the breath clean from my lungs.

Her rosy pink nipples resembled the dots of blush on her face. And her neatly trimmed pelvis seem a paved path to eternity.

I fumbled with the camera. Body first. Atleast behind the camera.

Dok Saab (119)

"To Ramu I give my farms, for his selfless service"
Late Babu Roshan Lal, freedom fighter's will was being read out,
" to my son, rest of my property. My eyes be given to the Eye Bank, and my body to the KGMC, for the benefit of the medical students."

"Hey RK, look at this body allotted to us. The old man has no eyeballs."
"Must have been ogling at some gal, who gouged his eyes"
"Lets play a prank, cut his dick and gift it to Chakku darling, she is acting so pricey with us."

Thus lied the body of Late Babu Roshan Lal, Freedom Fighter, on the marble slab, eyes gouged, organs mutilated and his pride, humiliated.


Mickey (116)


Thakur Padam Singh was looking at his third bride, in utter disbelief.
There she was lying, calmly in his flower-decorated bed.
Ranno looked beautiful in the red banrasi sari.
Her face had a strange look of peace and agony.
The chit he found under the bottle of rat poison was still in his hand.
"You knew that I loved Lakhiya, still you forced my old father into marrying me to you.
You took fancy to my body, so here is my body for you.
Feast on it and satisfy your hunger.
But my soul belongs to Lakhiya and only he will have it,
We will meet, if not in this life then in the next one."

Richa Gupta (101)

Body--Kaya


Adbhut, anupam, nirali hai yovna ki yeh kaya

Nadiya ki chanchalta pushp ki hai komalta

Yeh roop dekh Dushyant ko aur kuch na bhaya

Komal, kamuk, madbhara hai uska har ang

Nayan jhuka ke halka sa muskura ke

Chhed di Dushyant ke man mein jaltarang

Bahupaash mein bhar loon mein, Dushyant ka man ho aaya

Sharirik prem tha yeh ya do aatmayon ka bandhan

Hai!! yeh kaviraj Kalidas spasht na kar paya

Solah basant liye swarnim, sajal hai Shakuntala ki kaya

Isi naari deh ne prerit kiya hai yudh bhi v prem bhi

Prerit kiya hai kaam krodh moh aur maya


Anahita Dordi (120)


Her body was snow white, slender and graceful. Strayed away from her flock in the woods, she swam all alone in this lake which marked the end of Roger town. Yes, she was a gorgeous ‘Swan’. Effortlessly sliding over the water; with a wing span vast and majestically enormous.

Cathy & Veronica daily witnessed the swan’s ballet. Once on their way they heard the swan-song and hurried to the lake, but she was missing. Veronica spotted a white streak. Soon she appeared to them, this time floating sluggishly. Her wings awkwardly stretched and neck immersed. It was poignant to see the swan dead on the still waters. She was killed by the industrial wastes. She did die singing the swan-song.


Konfessioner Singh (110)


So there you lie, this is the end.

Goodbye goodbye.

“Aaah…what poetry… Miss. Jung, you have excelled yourself yet again!” his eyes twinkled, but it was repulsive…the whole act was repulsive. The way his mouth twitched, how his toes stood up in his shoes and his cheeks reddened, the way he wheezed. I’d watched the performance week after week.

The teacher and his muse. Mr. Nelson and Nafisa Jung.

Nafisa couldn’t write, she didn’t know a syllable from a senyru but she was a peach…and he a fatally attracted drosophila. Smiling like the summer she sat down on the hard wooden bench, Nelson devouring her body with his hungry stare.

50 comments:

truthdude said...

wow...this is gonna be soo difficult to choose from. Mr. Judge has his work cut out for him!!

I haven't decided whom to vote for yet...but vote I shall (i haven't shirked responsibility (yet!)).

Meanwhile...keep up the fine writing people. Y'all ROCK!!

Unknown said...

Body, a beautiful word, with so many different interpretations. but what came to my mind was what I had experienced during my training in the dissection hall of my medical college, lots of bodies, lying naked on cold white marble slabs, waiting to be shredded by us medicos, and thrown into the incinerators unceremoniously.
But here I see the body in the rawest, sensuous form.
Truth Dude--Very sensuous, with a touch of eroticism. You have not used the word,body so the writeup can be used in many other words too :)
Mandappa K C--Again a very sensuous portrayal of body. Nice imagery here.
Dok Saab-- what can I say, body reminds me of my anatomy classes. So many dead bodies I have seen in my career, that I forgot body had a beautiful aspect too.
Mickey-- Great first attempt man!! Body as an object of fetish, intellegent use of the word.
---contd(due to lack of time, the remaining komments and vote later.

The Konfessioners said...

P.s Please read the note above the post before Kommenting!

Thank you!! :)

malted socktail said...

oh no!!!
so much competition... this ones a real wild week i see....as it is the old konfessioners itself was tough to choose, since every one had written so varied!!!

but more bloods always welKome...
this is gettin excitingly intense.. im going to go some homework from now!!

Unknown said...

-contd
Priyanka Acharya --Where were u till now Priyanka !! Did Sarang's call pulled you in?? You write so well. And your portrayal of body as a Obese girl is a welcome releif after reading about so many seductive and sexy bods. The body of your write-up exceeds the limits so you will not qualify for the votes I suppose, but well written.
Lord Summer, the poet--The stallion that spoke, now writes too. where were you all these days. Perfect poetry !! body is very nicely placed as the soul of this poem.
Richa Gupta Jee--Wah Wah, bahut hi sundar Kavita hai!! aap to chhaa gaye Richaa jee. Such beautiful description of female body. Great poetry !! I beleive there are no language restrictions in konfessioners rule books.
P.S. Pausity of time has forced me to komment in parts, remaining komments later.

malted socktail said...

ok... im gonna komment since i kant kome in tmrw... so will komment... its been hard and i dont mean it as a cliche like most people do... it really was but here goes anyways....

Priyanka - firstly welcome here. great piece of writing. since we kriticize, i'll say you sound too typical of indian writing in english. but great anywys. and i think u'll do even better with the word limit..think u'll be tough kompetition in the future.

Lord Summer - also welcome my fellow advertising buddy? nice piece of poetry. though i dint like ure first para. think uve captured emotion in the second two especially the last, but the first doesnt measure up to the rest.

Truth dude- man, ure always good... real nice take. drool. tho i think the tangent of body = sex is lil too done.

Dok Saab - Very nice take really captures a different tangent. Kaptivating..

Mickey - are u new? im not sure. but man, a great geart take. lovely.

Richa - my sincerest apologies, it looks nice. but i dnt know much Hindi. Maaf kijiye!

Anahita - nicely written again. and u r gettin better, personally the take dint tug my heart. sorry.

Konfessioner Singh - do we have to Komment on u. ure writing is jus humbling. man oh so brilliant. but for once i have somin to say. i think u cudve used the ten words more that u dint, do deliver a punch. ! it peters down a bit! yippeee, am actually proud i can say somin..

so ive done my rambling and these are jus my opinions, i maybe wrong! i face great difficulty to choose between doc saab and mickey. so i read and re-read and read again and i think i find one grammatic flaw in dok saab...the last line - "thus lied," i think shoudlve been "thus lay"..i may be wrong but for that im giving my point to
Mickey !

Unknown said...

-contd
Thanks Mandappa for appreciating my take. One silly error cost me your vote though :)
Resuming the komments
Santonu--Got a bit konfused as to who was bleeding and who trying to stop.May be because of the very tight editing,but got the idea very clear.
Misanthrope--Hater of Mankind,Why? Manan. But the poem is very beautifully crafted, not at all amateurish like ours.
Anahita--Very graceful, but I feel the stress on body was mild here.
Konfessioner Singh--In total agreement with Mandappa, do we have to Komment on you.We can know its you even if you publish it in someone else's name :). Where do you find your characters Missy, and i have noticed your female characters are mostly muslims(or Kashmiris), any particular reason?

Any More to kome?? Ill wait for the voting till Saturday.

Missy Baba said...

haha Mandi..!!! don't embarrass me yaar!!! And you're right..kind of petered..!

Dok Saab.. aap bhi ainvi!!! :) you're right..it's odd that I never noticed they were Muslims/Kashmiris....Now that I think about it, I think most of the creative inspiration I've had/have..is because of Hammi, an old muslim maid at home..who is like a mother to me..her vivid descriptions are neatly etched in my mind... But it must also be because mom is a sufi and I have many Muslim friends..some striking girls and women I've heard of/known have been/are Muslims... and that I've visited Kashmir twice and continue to find inspiration from those two visits..

Anah said...

Truth Dude:Romance once gain! Even though your base ain’t that strong you manage to frame it well and made it interesting enough.
Dok Saab:Saabji I kind of expected you to write something similar after reading your mail. Well I liked the write up. Is it was your real life experience?
Mickey:I typical hindi film scene eh!! Its good to be filmy :-) Even with the same concept or idea I feel you could have come out a bit better.
Richa: First of all its good to see you back this time. I personally fumble a lot to read Hindi in English. Believe me I took hell of a time to read this and more importantly to understand it at the same time :-) I did earlier think of writing on the marvellous human body but dint know how to. You have brought it out well as Kaya. What does Bahupaash mean? A nice piece of poetry. Keep it up!!
Shin Shin:Once again I quite dint get all that you wrote. :-( Got the beginning, got the end but was lost in the middle. What is a ‘Senyru’? And how does a peach come in from?? Again what is Drosophila? Sorry am putting so many question marks in my comment and everyone except me understands your writing. I really feel bad n sad for that :-(


I had alredy voted but removed it after reading the note. shall vote again tom n shall comment on the other to later.Sorry guys.

Cheers!!!

Mangal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mangal said...

Hi friends !
I have had enjoyed reading all the posts that you guys have posted, & seems like its something

appreciable that these guys are doing by running & maintaining this blog !

As far as Komments are Koncerned, here is my take,

Konfessioner Singh:

The gleam in her eyes, when she saw him right !
His body & his desires of the Manly wilderness..!!

A good one to begin my morning with.. :)

Anahita Dordi:

The style of writing is adorable.In particular, I loved the way you used, "Yes, she was a

gorgeous ‘Swan’ " , after the two lines of introduction which lead me to a picture of a beautiful

young woman & a body of a frozen river. :)

Richa Gupta:


Abr se utri hui marmari kaya,
Tauheen se bhari ankhon se kehti,
Is siqaalat ko hum bardasht na kar payenge !!!

I was just attempting a bit of Urdu, not good at it though !!
For the first two lines, I thought, its just the description & not merely a poem but I was proved

wrong soon..

Mickey:

A message for sure ! A strong message & a tangible write.Body in its literal meaning.

An erotic story is nothing but a piece of write which begins with you & ends with me..

Dok Saab:

truly Dok Saab :) I noticed the use of "Babu Roshan Lal,Freedom fighter" , a good experiment that

I would love to try while writing.

Mandappa:

:) Is our body driving us? or we are the drivers ? Convincing me from the point of view of yours.
A body has become basic requirement of life, after food, water, air !

Truth dude:

Lovely ! A straight story as a base & a building of emotions showing the art of the writer.

Brilliant !

Lord Summer:

Simplest words but they say it all. Wish I could write like this !

Priyanka Acharya:

:) A long story but with each emotion,is handled with extra-ordinary care & femine touch.Good to

read !

Santonu:

If I read it without thinking that this write is focused on body then, the read gives me

different perspective of morning-afternoon, & the imagination of story that changed the mind of a

person in a couple of seconds..

Unknown said...

@ Ana
Hi Princess (thats what they all call you naa)
Senyru is a form of poetry probably japanese.
Drosophila is a fruit fly, they feed on unripe fruit :)
Bahupash is a embrace, hug.
regarding my take, yes the second part, that of removing the penis is true(was part of ragging i had to face), first part is also true, there was a retired doctor who donated his body recently to our college, but both parts are unrelated.

Mickey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mickey said...

Great blog people, my first klash and I can say that I am loving it
But where's Sarang, inviting all the people and himself not here.
As for the comments,oops, Komments, ill try though I am not gud at kommenting at others.
Santonu--Very dramatic, but body is visible throughout.
Manan Shukla--human hating ghost !! :), very philosophical poem buddy
Priyanka Acharya--You overlooked the word limit, but irrelevance of body in human relations has been brought out very well.
Lord Summer, the poet--Very nice poetry, but the first two lines get repetitive.
Truth Dude --What breakfast are you serving here, dude !!Body at its rawest form. Good
Mandappa KC--Body as an art form, the excitement behind the camera was palpable. Nicely written.
Dok Saab--True DokSaab, in this race to materialism we have forgotten to respect even the living people , what to say of our dead.
Richa Gupta-- very beautifully written poem about the seductive shakuntala.
Anahita Dordi--You write well Anahita, I can see the graceful body of the swan gliding in the silent lake.
Konfessioner Singh--What a simile!! peach and drosophila. crafted like a professional author. People here are saying you are above the comments, I think they must be korrect( I have learnt to use the K word )
Kasturi Rangan--Yo have brought out the agony of having a crippled body very nicely. Your observation about dwarfs is great.
My Vote Richa Gupta,, Bauht he sundar kavita ke liye

Unknown said...

My dear lords and ladies, I am pleased to grace you all with my presence, a warhorse amongst mortal humans. I think my poem was the best, especially the first two lines. It took me twenty years to write it and there is a secret code in it for the military. But off course, none of you will be able to see it.

Anyways, here are my comments for the humans:

Lord Rangan: Wow, you deserve to get your face brushed by my tail. A wonderful construction and cool humor! Writing something like that is not easy. I would be happy to have that three-foot guy as my master, will be practically weightless.

Lord Santonu: I cried five buckets. That’s as much water as I drink in a day. Nice drama. I love senti stuff. Nice imagination, Sir.

Lord/Lady Misanthrope: That was spooky. I hid right inside my stable after reading it, my muzzle buried inside hay. Nice usage of words unknown to me.

Lady Priyanka: If ever Mayank changes his mind, and Neha is interested in a stallion, I’ll marry her (but on one condition, I won’t carry her on my back). Great story! Thanks for not knowing about the word limit, enjoyed reading it for a longer time.

Lord Summer: Hinn hinn hinn hinn!! Winner, always! 

Lord Truth Dude: Was there a hidden camera, Lord Dude? Send the CD. Hehe! Sorry. Nice bit of literary thing there (off course, that’s my opinion). Well written!

Lord Mandappa: Wow. Wow. Even if I am a horse! Wow! If you need an assistant photographer with steady hooves, I am in for the job. You write brilliant!

Lord Dok Sab: Thank god it was not a horse’s body, or else I would have whinnied in anger. I would like to be a watchorse inside that room. How dare they cut his urm… whatever! Good read. Captivating!

Lord Micky: The one I would rate next to mine. Superb!

Lady Richa: How are you? Long time, eh? I am fine. Did you finally get that cup-ear stuck back in place? I want to drop in for coffee sometime. (I am but a fly to judge what you have written. It races over my head, but I sniff something brilliant in it.)

Lady Ana: That’s written as proficiently as even my Master won’t be able to. Not even Shakespeare. I’d never give ride to an industrialist henceforth.

Lady Konfectioner: What a nice recipe. I’ll tell you sometime what us horses love to eat. Lucky Drosophila there. You write terrific!

Now, hold back your breath, my hundred-point vote goes to myself, and my one point vote goes to Micky Mouse! :D

richa said...

hello fellow writers and poets, welcome to all the new blood here, must say am glad to see so much talent and now I have to roll up my pants and really work hard. is budhaape mein itna kaam!!! thnx for the nice comments on my work and Princess (my name for Shin Shin not Ana) u r right I too read Abhigyan Shakuntalam recently and felt that what the couple felt was mostly lust to begin with.
anyway my comments...my most profound APOLOGIES but i wont be able to comment individually (have a class in 5 min).
I was a little disappointed with the cliched take on the word by many...still the potrayal was strong and the emotion palpable.
Doc Sa'ab: since my mom's a doc too i have seen and visited morgues and could totally feel your poem. my nana is a freedom fighter and has pledged his body too upon his death..your poem really saddened me.
Anahita: liked your take on the word as well as the environmental issue
Priyanka: well written if a bit filmy. would love to see you write something tighter and more concise. u have great talent
Kasturi: one word..good take but the felt somehow disjointed.
Princess: a personal anecdote haha!! tell me if a buddha lecher bothers you..am learning karate u know:)
Summer: last but not the least..loved loved and loved your piece. it was diff and sorta kinda funny and am a sucker for humor in writing. my vote goes to you
Santonu: touching story but as a writing you got lost in the language
misanthrope: had to read it thrice before i understood it..my bad but i like simple writing.
Truth dude: erotica personified :)
mandappa: nice work, but if she was so beautiful what were you doing clicking her??!! haha!!
mikey: great work man...a bit filmy but at least different
there you are...i actually did komment on every entry...yayyyyy..the teacher has been miming for the past 10 min..shud try and decipher her now:)

Unknown said...

Summer gates a vote, Summer gates a vote! []

Lady Richa, may you always find your grass! :)

Anah said...

Kasturi Rangan: Brilliant!! Brilliant!! brilliant!! Last line should have been better. Loved it to the core. Nice idea I must say. Keep it up!
Santonu:”Blood was trickling out from everywhere but he couldn't stop it.”….One can never stop it. How do u expect that to happen on its own? U could have built it up better I’m sure. U have written wonderfully before this week n I believe u weren’t up to the mark this time. Although a nice story.
Misanthrope: Nice poem good imagination. Ghosts are always an interesting read.
Summer(Y to call a horse the Loard?): Nice to see you here. U’r first attempt was good horsey. Nice small piece. Hope to see u every week. Ask ur master to write too.

Sorry Priyanka couldnt read urs so dint comment :( Was a bit too busy to have patience to read 800 odd words.

My vote still goes to RICHA!! Cheers!!!

Anah said...

Thank you everyone for ur comments.
@Summer: u made a very strong comment by saying.."Not even Shakespeare." My my... thanks for tht.

@Dok saab: Thanks for all the info. N only a fwe infact very few call me princess. U can call me Ana or Anahita its ok.

truthdude said...

ok wow.
this is gonna be an awesome exercise. lets begin:

Kasturi Rangan

now that is a story...more than a verse. and i think it should have been prose (but each according to his/her own). what i really liked in your verse was

"Clown of my own play,
Rock in my own Clay."

To me it sounded like responsibility - not complaints - even though life becomes very different if one is crippled.

So I'd say not bad at all!!

-----

Santonu

A very disheartening/disturbing interpretation of 'Body'.For someone who had witnessed this, I could imagine the nightmare's, the feeling of helplessness that followed. Damn!

As far as the writing goes...well I'm sure you already know by now that you are really good at this. It's vivid...and very disturbing.

I would love to say cheers...but considering your post, it would be very anti-climatic, if you know what I mean.

----------

Misanthrope

Descartes would be proud of you. The distinction between mind and body has never been so clear...and the dichotomy is brought to full justice.

(On a tangent, I do not believe in balck and white so for me, the distinction is distracting.)

But overall, I believe you could improve your writing a lot. A few things which I noticed and you could use:

Your writing is chaotic. While this is not a bad thing, some might even say it's style and iconic...I personally would like to read something which conveys a whole lot more in a whole lot less.

You choose language over concept. It's not about good or bad, it's about what you want to achieve.

I try to minimise language to covey an idea simply. But maybe that's just because I'm trained to do that.

And one more, try to cut back on adjectives.

Cheers!!

------------

Priyanka

Cool story. The obsession with 'skinny' is something I detest, but it's also something to do with a mindset.

While i believe, personally, this story could have been much more hard-hitting and I'm not a big fan of 'happily ever after' kind of ending, it certainly strikes me as a fresh piece of writing.

And it's still got a fairy-tale kind of thing going one, which isn't bad - but I'd have preferred a much more realistic depiction of this 'obsession with skinny'.

But really, thank you for this! It's great to have you here. And do keep writing!

----------

Lord Summer

Wow, you're full of yourself aint'cha! :)
Glad you like your body so much. And do continue to enamour us with your presence here.

Nice rhyming in your poem there!

-------

Me

I liked this piece. It isn't a memory but I'd like it to be. It's not a dream, but I do wish something like this would happen to me.

And I definitely believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

:)

--------

Mandappa

Brilliant stuff! I'd love to walk that pathway to eternity ;)

--------

Dok Saab

Cynical...so cynical. But being a doc, I dont blame you. Dok, you rock!!

---------

Mickey

Damn man...feast on a body after death...one would have to be a necrophiliac or something like that.

But solid writing there!

--------

Richa

I'm sorry girl, I don't know what to say. It's not only the language thing..it's also my hindi ain't really good.

But I do understand it (I think).
The woman's body as a cause of sex, anger, lust and illusion(?). Ain't that the truth!!

Nice poem there.

---------

Anahita

An ecologically sound piece of writing. Poignant and beautiful!

Awesome.

----------

Konfessioner Singh

Lust. And that too so perverted. Damn.

It's like an awesome villain whom you want to beat ther crap out of, even though you know it's just a damn movie!

Feel my fists tightening already. Visceral lust.

Not cool, but cool if you know what I mean!

My vote - The Dok!

Mangal said...

Hi guys,

well ! I just wanted to say something about my write.I have read many critiques here & I am not at all saying against any of them.But I believe, Poetry does not say anything.It just ticks off the doors of all the possibilities - opens all the doors & one can walk through any of them which suits him/her.

My vote, truthdude..!

Missy Baba said...

Before everything else, welcome new klashers Misanthrope, Kasturi, Priyanka, Lord Summer and Mickey...!!! We're delighted to have you participate and komment (* Misanthrope and Summer thank you, the rest...we have rules!! :) Please vote to participate! *)

Ok here goes---

Kasturi-- What a creative take, I reckon as Sarang's friend you're a fantasy-fiction enthusiast.. I am a sucker for structure usually, Writer's dock is to blame but but but more importantly, I see how you've constructed this little poem using the gnarled features of a dwarf and his pin sized body as a place for joy... I particularly liked the line "Rock in my own Clay"...beautifully conceived!

Santonu-- Again, what matters is the spirit of the piece and here you took a real life incident and our forum is richer for it.. May God rest the young boy's soul in peace... I was moved when I read the mail you sent and added a few lines to introduce the story behind the klash. Thank you for this piece.

But do remember--120 words! not 1 more!!!

Misanthrope-- Poetry can never really be critiqued, by putting it here you sign an understanding of being on the chopping board i guess haha... well, I read this twice however. A couple of hitches in language-- Covers could be cover and is strangled to death seems more appropriate too.. What I found interesting in this poem which I reckon is about death, was the fact that you used she to describe your body.. well done, I also enjoyed your first line.. "Intemperate motion...".

Priyanka-- We're sad you haven't kommented.. :( but I know you're busy!! :) so here goes.. wow..this is perfect for a women's magazine..I don't mean it in a rude way though!! I seriously wish I could put it somewhere because so many would find inspiration here.. being obese can be traumatic and especially if you're an Indian girl.. Well done... :)

Lord Summer-- If this is read like a child, with ups and downs and rhyme..it's super I love it! Especially when I imagine your stupid master riding you hahaha.. well done!!! :)

TD-- whoaa.. sexual I say! raw take true, soochi and smoochie made me gag though haha.. not bad at all!!

Mandi-- I thought it'd be cool and funny the minute I read the first line.. You didn't disappoint me, especially because this sounds so much like you..(behind the camera and all that haha) Good one!!

Dok Saab-- What a solemn piece, I particularly liked the way you traced his history dok saab... what kind of courage it must take to donate your body.. Thought provoking piece.

Mickey-- Welcome, welcome! and thank you for the komments too! A nice take on the thakurs..I watched Omkara today and couldnt help but think of Kareena Kapoor lying there..that way! Crazy movie..good take.. we're looking forward to more from our new members!! :)

Empress (Richa)-- Adbhudh..This does justice to Shakuntala like I never can..I tried to pen a poem on her too, failed miserably to say the least haha..But this is just the best take on Body. You have my 5 points. My vote!!

Ana-- Lovely improvement, all the komments above make me smile at how you've improved! The swan song was a good addition.. well done, I wish we'd see more of you..but since you've told me about going to Baramati and not having the time to write and komment my heart has sunk a bit!! :( But oh well, baad mein!! :)

VOTE--- RICHA GUPTA

Cheers,
Konfessioner Singh.

P.S. note to all my komrades, PLEASE add the name of the person whom you vote for in BOLD.. so I can kount and add the votes accordingly or better still at the end of your komments just say VOTE-- Name of the klasher! (like above!)

Thank you!! :)

Missy Baba said...

Result so far--- Richa's the winner with 7 points!!

truthdude said...

hey Missy K.

You know what I've noticed...

You always go Whoaaa (ok not always, but frequently) when you grace me with your komment!

Its just an observation..and an interesting one at that.

Ok interesting to me...but just wanted to know any particular reason why..or just that I make you go whoaa ... hehehe!

:)

richa said...

i cant believe it...ahem ahem i got votes and that too 7...geewhiz!!! i was aiming for at least 1...yayyyyy!!! taaliyon ki gadgadahat and me being not modest :)
but seriously guys thnx for the appreciation. I am sorry that many could not understand the language but I sometimes get strong urges to write in my mother tongue and would you believe it I sometimes speak in such "klishth" (difficult) hindi too and that too here and people go "what what??"

Misanthrope: My "geeky" hubby explained your poem too me and I reiterate my earlier komment and now have only one word "WOW" to so poetically put a death experience and the line "the monstrous desire of my being" wow man...we are all so caught up in that desire to be..just to exist. wonderfully potrayed or must I say wonderfully interpreted by ...heheheee!!!

Unknown said...

@ Lady Messy Babe

See, Richa has seven votes, but she voted me. So that means I have eight votes. I am the winner. You humans (except Richa, if she is a human) have no knowledge of literarure.

NM said...

First things first, kindly accept hearfelt apologies from the least proficient Konfessioners of the three. Been very, very, very busy so the delay.

Anyways, here's my Verdikt

Shin-Shin: Extremely poignant and moving. I agree with Dok's Saab's unstinted doses of praise towards thee, o mighty Konfessioner! Amazingly written. Brings out the relationship fine and succinct.

Anahita: Well, princess, you are truly evolving as a fine writer. This piece is very well written indeed. Starts of brilliantly but personally, I think it lost steam post the introduction of the "Swan". My suggestion would have been not mentioning that its a swan you are talking about. You didnt necessarily have to spoon feed the readers with the minutest of details. As I feel, leave some of the stuff for the audience to guess. Marked improvement! Doesnt look long before you win the crown!

Richa: Wo ho ho ho! Hindi on a predominantly English blog! And that too in such a beautiful manner. Brilliant portrayal of the word. My vote goes to thee, Richa jee!

Mickey: Well, a failed love story, an evil antagonist and a suicide! Stuff that classic hindi films of the 70's and crass bhojpuri films from today's times are made off! Since I am a self confessed film freak, I did have a ball reading it! Well done!

Dok Saab: I am a devoted Dok Saab fan. But apologies, this time it failed to invoke any kind of emotions inside me. Good plot, but I somehow just didnt feel it. Sorry to be blunt, but for me, personally, it doesnt work at all.

Mandappa: Super! I loved this piece. I can just sense what it feels to be on the other side of the camera! You come a very close second!

Truth Dude: Dude! That was sensual! The most obvious take for the word body with the most unusual choice of words and narrative! Brilliant!

Summer: My mate, at times I wish I was a horse! Horses seem to write better! Though the first couple of paras were quite, out of place, though u found your element later. Horses (or should I say donkeys) are allowed exception on the good ol KnK!

Priyanka: Welcome to KnK! Wish you joined us earlier! Looking forward to more work. Though the style of writing is quite indianized, I still like your take on the word!

Misanthrope: Welcome to KnK! Well done... very well done. A tad too scientific, but works i guess. Looking for more from you!

Santonu: Oh Santonu! This is my personal favorite and you were my winner had you not overshot the word limit! I know its only 3 words, but 3 words can change lives (you know which 3 words i am talkin about) so why make an exception on the oh-so-strikt world of KnK!

Kasturi: Welcome to KnK!
At 5, the Dog ate my left ear,
Mum cried, for why i went near.

Superb imagery and klassic writing! Loved it!

There's NM's verdikt for the week...Being a judge was tough, but hell yeah! Twas fun too!

My winner is RICHA for being daring enough to write in an altogether different language and then doin a bloody good job outta it!

As I can see, she's already got 7 and gets my 10 pointer... So there you go people, Richa ji wins the purple krown in all due probability!

Cheers and keep KnK rocking!

NM

Unknown said...

Since The Judge Mahajan has given his verdict, my vote is just a formality, but will vote even then.
but before that one komment for the last entry
Kasturi Rangan--welcome friend, Ur names so famous !!(There was a chairman ISRO, a very famous scientist), and I loved to read your take on the word, looked at body through a totally different perspective, and very nicely written.
the klash is getting hotter by the weeks
My Vote -Richa Jee for tha same reason as the Judges, and a very beautiful poem, Congrats Richa Jee

Mickey said...

@ Lord SummerBy your Equine Maths I am the winner, because your lordship has in turn voted me.
Do I smell a Ekkkta KKapoor style love triangle here, Lady Richa for Lord Suumer, Lord Summer for Mickey Mouse and Mickey Mouse for Lady Richa :).
Since I am the last mouse to Komment, I may also summerise the voting,
Richa Gupta--18 Votes (NM-10,KS-5,Dok-1,Ana-1,Myself-1)
Myself--2, (Malted Socktail & Lord Summer)
Truth Dude--1, Misanthrope's
Dok Saab--1, Truth Dude's
Lord Summer--1, Richa's

malted socktail said...

holy cow! is this gettin hotter by the minute... come abck from a weekend to see more posts!! and wow... like wow....
anyways will read and komment on the ones i haevnt in a bit, tho again im guessin its formality...

being appreciated here is such a boost for writers!! kudos to the original KONFESSIONERS>..

as for those who read my piece, its purely fictional, i have never stood behind the camera while shootin a woman (shin - even tho i do fotography, its more towards teh wildlife side :))

malted socktail said...

komments...

Kasturi Rangan: Welcome! wheeze! welcome! wheeze !! I'm a sucker for stuff like this... and u blew me away...
if ure into readin, i think u'd love Tom Robbins for some reason. great stuff

Santano: brlliant. moving. true. will refrain from saying anything else, cuz i can feel the emotion

Misanthrope: where have u guys been hiding? welcome here! and killer! like wow. someimtes i lil over i feel, but maybe cuz im a sucker for simplicity.

But phew! the new breed of konfessioners sure can write!

Missy Baba said...

Hahahaha.. hey Mandi!!!

Did I go whoaa?! haha... I must really be going whoaa to write it there... ;)

special reason... let me think...! haha

And yes the new konfessioners are such good fun!! :)

Willy Wingfoot said...
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Willy Wingfoot said...
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Willy Wingfoot said...
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Willy Wingfoot said...

Oh!!Gentlemen....n d ladies....
Been a honour 2 share ur space...
sry 4 d delay....coz i've been scrolling UP n DOWN searchin on HOW 2 Komment...n now i stumbled upon dis...SO..here i am..!!
FIRST: How do i change my featuring-name 4 d nxt Topic...??!!
NEXT: If d Topic s announced on Thursday...untill when r v supposed 2 mail-in??
REST:
Myself-Guess i messed up d begining...n dat was a shallow script i wrote!!120limit was'nt helpin a bit...Lot 2 Learn.
Santonu-I was left clueless on wats happening....But dat was only untill i read d italics abv...Good try,lol..
Misanthrope:Now...here i was...thinkin Poetry was supposed 2 b simple!!!Agn...lots 2 learn..!!
Priyanka: Long one i c....n an usual one too....if am not misunderstood.
Summer: Now dats a kinda poetry dat i can try my hand on....Jus puts me 2 wonder wer 2 scratch 4 ideas...
Truth Dude: Eh...sorry...i did'nt know wat 2 make of it...really!!
Mandappa: Descriptions aplenty...!! "Polished Ivory of a Freshly Humped Elephant"....sounds like a masterpiece 2 me,sir.
Dok saab:Eh..Uhm...ah..is'nt dis brutality..??!!
Mickey: Kool...after every read...i jus feel bad,Y i did'nt kome up with such a tale..!!
Richa:Looks OFFICIAL 2 me...Did'nt try 2 get into d depth of it...coz m still afar pondering on whether 2 take a Dip at all!!Never been a hindi-reader...so i dont stand 2 Komment...
Anahita:Nice...
Konfessioner Singh:"Fatally attracted Drosophila..!!"Nvr heard b4...Have u got d Copyrights,sir??!!

malted socktail said...

@ kasturi
well after comment u got to vote too !!
:)

Unknown said...

@Rangan after three failed attempts You finally succeeded in Kommenting !! Thats good!!
One correction Rangan, our Konfessioner Singh, whom you have addressed Sir, is a very charming young lady :)
Regarding my take, yes it is brutal, but after spending ten days in the dissection hall, surrounded by twenty dead bodies, we get so used to, that we dont think of them as human bodies but just lab specimens.
And yes , your vote, it may not change the results, but it matters for the konfessioners.

Missy Baba said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Missy Baba said...

Rangan---

1. Email us the name you'd like to use for next time at submissionsknk@gmail.com

2. You are on our mailing list so we'll keep you informed about the word, you can also look at the top left korner of the page, we put up the word+name of the judge+ winner+rules there. You're supposed to post by Wednesday (you have a week to write).

3. The 120 words are meant to bring out the best in you! Succinct writing takes wit and often talent..haha.

4. Konfessioner Singh, i.e. me, Shinjini Singh is a lady. And I'm afraid I didn't understand what you meant by getting a copyright?! You won't hear most of what I write before, because I right it now. :)

Cheers,
Shinjini.

p.s. You must vote! :)

Unknown said...

One suggestion, (may be put to vote if you are in doubt)
There should be one crown (or just a Cap) for the best Kommentator too. Are you listening Konfectioner Singh ?

Missy Baba said...

hahaha.. cap!!! GOOD ONE!! :D

Well dok saab, I think that's a GREAT idea..it'll encourage better kriticism too... but how do we award a best kommenter? on what basis??

Mickey said...

@ Dok Saab
Thats a great Idea !!
I think the founder members may declare the best kommentator (like the jury awards)

Unknown said...

I think my Komment was the best!

Willy Wingfoot said...

Ow...sry abt dat..mam..
n dat Drosophila thing was Kool 2 b Copyrighted n preserved 4 later...so dat was a COMPLIMENT...if u get me right.
Ya..i've been thinking if newbees wer authorised 2 vote...So...mine wud go 4 LORD SUMMER...though i'am still drooling over his\her 60 spare words!! Wud have gulped up with utmost satisfaction....

Willy Wingfoot said...

wATS D TOPIC....WATS D TOPIC...WATS D TOPIC...!!!

Unknown said...

Summer has two votes!
Summer has two votes
World is cool!
Thanks, Lord Rangan!

Priyanka said...

I am so so sorry Konfessioners that I couldn't vote and comment. Problems with the system. But I'll surely comment and vote on this week's entries..!! For me..each and every one of them was absolutely great and unsual...!! Each and everybody gets my vote..although the voting's closed. Lots of love..!! :)

Unknown said...

HI Priyanka!!
You have only one Vote, You can not give it to every person. I Have ten votes this week, even then I will have to chose one winner.
This is Klash, Priyanka, here you will have to come into conflict, be in opposition, collide with a loud, harsh, usually metallic noise ha ha.
Yes you have lots of love, so that you can share with all of us,
but vote, there you will have to be mean, chose your winner, dont bother what everyone else will say :)

Santonu said...

...and thats a fifty....clap clap :)got an opprotunity to score one, may be off the pitch. Yes this is 50th Komment...shinjini Please dont delete this comment or any other :D, i'll lose my maiden half century here
well Doc Saab, i feel the krown should go to the person who is making the best Komment, as its always difficult to understand and follow different writing style and language, but lets not make people conscious here, lets make commenting free, instead we should Klash intensely. Though there are Sachin Tendulkars here :) but its always gr8 to learn from you all....