Thursday, 17 January 2008

I told you so!

I told you so!


[Entries Closed!!]



Sagar Neel De (121)



Let’s Run Away


Convincing a 10-year older lady at 25 was always confusing. Our worlds are different, she explains, ever since I felt her smile only death could forget. The intimidating society is all she cared. Sometimes he would say, we don’t have that much time with us. And everytime she would laugh out to say, let’s run away.


Thirty years pushed me into a family and another JUST FRIEND. She is all alone within the blued hospital walls without a supplement for loneliness. At midnight, her wrinkled hands pressed mine. My drowsy eyes could see her tears as she said - We don’t have that much time with us.


Let’s run away, I said.




I told you so - you never understood. KID!!!



Nandini Sen (124)


Arjun was the “poor rich kid”. Parents were busy making millions, while he only had obliging servants for company. The typical naughty acts of getting wet in rain, eating stolen mangoes, burning holes while smoking, went unnoticed. He ached to hear what his friends complained about – the stern “I told you so”.


The puppy came as a gift and literally became Arjun’s guardian. Getting fever after running in the rain, an upset stomach after eating junk , a black eye after knocking over neighbor’s bike , always got Daisy’s disapproving “I told you so” barks.


The day Arjun received a gold medal from the premiere medical school, Daisy’s short sharp “I told you so” barks was memorable. This time it was filled with affection.



Rashmi (123)


Paper n Pen were her Enemies,

She loathe mere sight of those,

But all she craved now, is that Disgust...


Gone are the days, when love was in the air.

Past is the time, when eyes were in tears.

Sudden was the death of a Heart,

Unlimited Hurt is the Blow inflicted upon.


Grease, Paint, Blood, War, all are the words,

That doesn't make any Sense Here.

But isn't the World a Similar Place,

Void of all that we ever Desire…


These are the Words echoing in my empty Brain,

The Hot Cappuccino stirred in my empty veins,

Thus was the aftereffect of a Down and Out night at Hard Rock,

She said, You Crazy, Out-of-Your-Fucking-Mind-Woman,

Tequila is Sin, I Told You so…!!




Dok Saab(122)


He had a sarcastic "I told you so!" expression on his face.
He had never actually told that the balcony would fall.
But this old mason had suggested the beam would not take the load.
And for this suggestion, the architect had taken him to task.
"I may not be qualified," the mason had said, "but I have built houses all my life. This will not hold."
No one took heed to the experienced. All listened to the expert.
The young architect was now blaming every thing, from the poor quality of cement to bad weather, for the collapse.
The old mason was sitting under the peepul tree, smoking beedi, disdainful smile on his face, as if saying, "I told you so!"



Priyanka Chakraboty (123)


A loud explosion! Pungent, choking smoke filled the room. She had already started ranting about the experiment gone horribly wrong. "I told you not to mix the bullfrog horn before the potion turned lilac, but you never listen. Now look what has happened. I told you so. What are we going to tell our parents? You'll never learn, even though I keep telling you how to do it?......". Her voice faded slowly and he regained consciousness. He knew she got hysterical at the slightest disorder and wanted to console her. He was coughing badly but still groped around for her. His hand struck hers and pulled her. She was inert. No heartbeat. He willed her to speak, to say "I told you so..".



Mickey The Monkey (123)


I woke up with pain in my back. I saw DokSaab smiling at me. I felt for my tail. It was not there.

"What did you do with my tail?"

"I had to remove it Mickey, I told you so!"

"You told you'd do a minor surgery for the boil."

"Yes, but your tail was useless, so I removed it."

"It was symbol of my Manhood, err Monkeyhood. Jane loved me because of it. DokSaab, I told you so!"

"I will talk to Jane, don't you worry, Monkey."

As he was leaving, I saw my sexy tail, hanging from behind DokSaab's white apron. Now I realised he duped me. He had huge crush on my Jane and stole my tail to win-over her.



Coffeeismypoison (121)


Live,and let live.

i told you so,
you didn't heed
my warning advise
now you've gone
and lost the prize.
i told u always
prioritize.

studies foremost,
always
ever
yone gets stressed
medical attention?
your just distressed!
your medicament?
Dispensable.

1 month later :

i told you so,
i'm not like others...
Draconian.
i'm ill,
its my mind,
i've left me,
far far behind.

so I'm leaving
for somewhere happy
maybe numb
so it matters not
who understands me,
puts me ahead
of education.

1 day later :

We didn't understand
our little girl,
never made her happy
in the now
always always
the future
militant.

listen
happiness
is
living free,
living a dream
solely yours,
thats knowledge
true education.
realise,
Prioritise.


Truth Dude (146)


"I never thought..."
"Of course. But you can't deny it was the best year we've had so far."
"Mmmm.."

It all comes to a stop here...on the bench, watching the sunset.
Just looking at her makes me want to caress her, touch her...all the time.
And we live the moment together.

"So what will you do after I'm gone?"
"Work mostly. And remember the good times and look forward to more..."
"I have tons to do when I go. Work, study, get organised and wait for you to come by."

I see sorrow...but I don't bother with it.
Because it's temporary at best.
We're together for life now.

"So the end of the year..."
"Yea...and what an awesome year it's been."
"The best!"
"Absolutely!"

She looks into my eyes.
And I know that 'I told you so' look!
And I'm deeply grateful.
Such a beautiful world...


Mandappa KC (102)


Me and her, was a steaming tryst with a hot flame

Pouring passion, burning vein

Swimming in heaven and no one to blame

She reminded me, someday there will be pain




And so it went against the logic of all my dreams

My mind soaked with pleasure, reality-free

Moments of clarity swept away in debris

Heart torn, pleasing my mind or being me?



Then the day came, when she walked out the door

And my heart screamed louder than ever before

Saying I told you no, I told you she was a no-no

Didn't I tell you, see I told you so!


GSV (123)


I told you so!

Don’t climb so high

And see now

Here you broke your thigh




Yeah you said me all

But I was trying to fly

And see mom, these paper wings

They are still alive!


I told you so!

Don’t play in the rain

And see now

Here you caught a cold




Aah. .I’m sorry mom

But I was learning to sail

And see my little boat

I can drift and trail!




I told you so!

Always sleep at time

And see now

Here you missed the school




Ohh.. I am sorry again.

But I was counting stars

Really mom, I am not joking

Countless they are!




She still says “I told you so!

And now I tell her

Haha..Not Anymore!



===================================================================



Konfessioner Singh (119)


My new pink shoes danced at night. Yes they did. I knew it. They didn’t. You see, they never wanted to believe. Like when I told them about Mr. Gawrf, that he lived under a toadstool and drank lettuce tea.

That night, the shoes were dancing again. Twirling in quick circles, pausing to look around on their empty toe tips…

tkkk tkkk tkkk…tkkk..

“What’s that?!”said veerji rubbing his eyes

“My new pink shoes!” I chimed.

“Shut up moti!”

“Look then rhino!!”

Under the bed we slid, looking through the crack in the door…

“Holy sh**t!”

“Ha!”

“Bbbut…nnno…ssshh”

“Seeeeee..!!! I told you so!!”

We found the shoe-ghost early next morning. Trigger, lying curled between two very mauled new pink shoes.


Sunday, 13 January 2008

Where Nikhil Mahajan has Been.



Very few things move me now. Very few.


I have seen far too much and far too soon, the more I reflect on each sight, thought, word and sound from my darkest and deepest creative memories....The more I Feel.


Reading Antasthiti I dipped into a deeper and darker crevice of my own Being... Nikhil Mahajan has been hiding from us, he has been working on his masterpiece whilst we (at least I!) cursed his arrogance and presumption... Antasthiti is his gift to all of us, people and artists. To Karma n Konfessions especially, for we stand together in the spirit of creativity week after week...


I am looking forward to his Movie, the Movie. Because I will find a reason to believe in the power of words through a visual experience that will surpass much of what I have read, written, heard, thought and seen.


Antasthiti...koming soon.


Nikhil Mahajan...is BacK.


Thursday, 27 December 2007

Love

Love


[Entries now Closed]


Willy Wingfoot (91)

I see a couple walk hand-in-hand.
A little later;
I see the lady stab the man's heart.

I see a lover waiting beneath the window.
I walk by;
I see a drooling wolf waiting for its prey.

I see shrunken bloodless men fight.
I blink;
My TV says, its the parliament.

I see a zombie feeding on a baby.
Closer look;
It’s Mr. Bush at breakfast.

I see a boy help a women cross.
Well, I notice;
Her golden ring is now lost.

I see a man pay a poor fellow.
He proved his worth;
Now his wife's murder does look like an accident.

I titled my book-"Love-An human emotion"
On second thoughts;
I published them-"Love-Once an human emotion"


==============================================================


Me (141)


I'm in Love.

I'm in love. I'm sixteen. She was my everything.

My age. Pretty. Smart. Cute. My world started.

Stopped. Did a roll over. And tumbled around her.

We moved. Split. We moved on out of love.


I'm in love. I'm nineteen. She was almost everything.

Looked like the first one. Cute. Her world started.

Stopped. Did a roll over. And tumbled around me.

She crowded. I ran. She married her new love.


I'm in love. I'm twenty. We were everything.

Smart. Loving. Caring. Our world's started.

Stopped. Did a roll over. And tumbled around us.

We fight. We scream. We're running out of love.


I'm in love. I'm twenty three. She's amazing.

Caring. Loving. Angel. I wish the world started.

Stopped. Did a roll over. And tumbled just for us.

Together awesome. But we can't. Cheers to the love that could've been.




===================================================================


Yuvraj (107)


Infinite Love


I tripped over my heart; just fell. Like that. From over the bed. A warm squarely feeling was rapidly rising underneath my chest, right next to my heart. Stroking my senses with rabid sensations. I swam out of the room to find empty air, rich with your perfume and screaming silence, whispering your words. It delivered me to a strange land of…of something…something I can not define.

The breakfast lay on the table. The newspaper on the sofa. Everything was as it would have been. But nothing was as it should have been.

This morning I woke up to an empty house, numb senses and infinite love.



Shweta Srivastav (57)


Among the pretensions of this world,

In the clash of trifling vanities,

One and all pass by me distrait,

And as always I trail them as I wait,

For just one of them to recognise me

Not as an indulgence of the self

But in my true essence!!

And thus, I wait

Lost

Waiting to be found!


===============================================================


Kaveesh Sinha (120)


The pigeons upon that time seeming to undergo much suffering and insecurity, I determined upon giving them liberty. Most of them had been killed by the cat a night before. But the beautiful grey-mottled pigeon looked extremely uneasy and anxiously around, fluttering wings and making a loud cooing noise. All of them flew away, without giving me a last look. Freedom they preferred to captivated care. I wondered how insensitive they were.

But the grey-mottled appeared in the angana one day. He never actually did go. No more care from me and there he died. That was Love's foremost realization. I asked him dead on my palms, "I didn't worry for thee, and thou fool, fell in love with me?!"


=============================================================================


Coffeeismypoison (119)


CAN YOU LOVE ME, LIKE MY DOG DOES?


...if I,

shut you in the balcony
[mid winter]
the guests!
[spooked cats]

didn't make you dinner
[i'm not hungry]
your water bowl's dry
[oops didn't notice]

tied you to a short leash
[punishment's necessary]
you peed in the house
[so I forgot to walk you]
where's your sense?

didn't play with you
[i'm busy can't you see?]
Arghh!! don't DO that
[fur shows on black!]

No,

I wont throw you your stick!

…how callous am i…
how uncaring…

so why...

do you still run to me laughing,
tail wagging nonstop…
You love
a human who knows not,
real love.

Oh! you make me feel small,
sweet dog of mine…
we humans love those,
whos heads nod with ours.

===============================================================


Dok Saab (120)


Do you still love me?

Sure I do. Why do you ask?
After twenty years of our marriage!

Why don't I feel it now, Rajat?
Tell me, when was the last time you kissed me?
You brought roses for me. That was a long time back.
Did you notice I was wearing a new saree yesterday?
You don't even notice me. And you say you still love me.

Agreed, I gave more time to my job.
That doesn't mean my love for you waned.
I wanted to reach higher, earn more,
And give you more, Seema.

I will die yearning for your love.
What will you do then?
With all that money, will you
build a Taz in my memory?



Agnisen (120)


Case: Laurie overheard her husband Andy, speaking to his close friend Maggie, "Its you my Love". (This line, in reality was Andy's suggestion to Maggie, of what she could right on her anniversary card, for her hubby.) Laurie took it otherwise and blamed God for this.

"Love….You are convicted with juvenile behavior. In Laurie vs. God, you had a night's fling with Ms Jealousy. This lead to the birth of Master Suspicion, who real caused a lot of damage."
"But what was Mr. Character, the guy in charge, doing? He should have managed this situation."
“Suspicion flourishes when Character’s weak. And per Rule 349999908 of God’s Act, it’s your duty to strengthen Character. Please resolve this case at the earliest.”


Richa Gupta (116)


Like a tidal wave they surged forward, there was no stopping them. Some came prepared, the others grabbed whatever they could find. As one they moved, without logic, without rationale. They wanted blood and they would not stop to ask or care why? Their voice rose in a deafening crescendo. They torched houses and broke the glasses of vehicles but that was not enough to quench their lust. And then they saw him, a cowering whimpering man trying to hide behind the wall of the burning house. He was theirs, the mad hunters had found a prey. They lunged and then moved on. Left behind was a writhing burning body…all for the LOVE of "their" God.


==============================================================


Santonu (211)


.....A camel was found on the NH 6 in jharkhand, it was severly injured as was hit by a car. It was surprising for everyone that how a camel came there. Later it was discovered that, marchents who were bringing it, deserted it on the way for unknown reason. The villagers got together and started throwing stones at the poor animal, fortunately he was rescued by some press photographer and good news is that he got good medical attention and recovering fast...May be his love brought him back to the world...




It was burning feeling; stream of blood was soaking the long legs. They say camels don't require water, but he felt thirsty now. Last 4 days there was very little rest, the monster which was carrying them scared him a lot. He remembered the race when Llakshmi challenged him to run faster than her, both of them were racing through the sand towards the horizons where they wanted to stop, when those devils caught him. He was happy as they spared Llakshmi, she was thin; Closing the eyes he could see her tearful eyes. The car hit him on the road when those people deserted him, he realized he is gonna die, but still he was happy, Lakshmi is alive.




===============================================================


Hummingnerd (58)




The guy - "I love you"
**kneels down**
and oops
**farts**



the girl smiles - "I love you too"
tries hard...
and
**farts** back



that's LOVE, ain't it?

:p

love is not unselfish
love is not blind
love is not pure
love is not in words...

Love is Love

Hence, forget the adjectives,
and
Let there be Love!




=============================================================================


Mickey the Monkey (120)


I think I am in Love, Sweta.

Why Monkey, how do you know its love?

Sweta, since the day I have seen her, I am feeling strange.
My heart beats faster these days.
When she comes to the window, my breathing becomes difficult.
I can't sleep the whole night. She is always there in my eyes.
I keep sitting on the mango tree in front of her house,
waiting for her to appear in the balcony.
Even the juiciest berries seem tasteless to me when she is not there.
Am I in love with Jane, Sweta?

Monkey, this is not love.
You are most probably having anaemia.
Come to my clinic tomorrow, we'll take some tests.
You'll be well soon.

===============================================================


Nandini Sen (186)


Lifelong Jojo’s question was “Whats love?”

At six , Dadima answered “It makes the world go around” Jojo felt love meant warm comfort of Dadima’s lap.

At ten, Ma answered “Its togetherness”. Jojo felt care was love.

At twelve, sharing secrets, tiffins, notes with best friend, Jojo knew love was sharing.

At sixteen, seeing his sweetheart, Jojo felt love was his blushing face & flipflop of heart.

At twenty, his sweetheart left & Jojo felt love was only pain.

At twentyfive, a colleague remarked “Jojo’s in love with his job”. He thought obsession was love.

At thirty, after passionately embracing his bride, he asked “Is this love”. She giggled: “Mr.Handsome, lemme show whats love ”. Jojo was glad that love was blind, since the mirror told him he wasn’t near “handsome”.

At forty, distributing Christmas gifts in the orphanage, Jojo heard the presiding nun say “Love is compassion towards fellow humans”.

At fortyfive, Jojo’s child declared “Daddy you’re best”. He felt this awe & reverence was love.

At sixty, Jojo knew he’d felt, lived, given and received love. But still didn’t know what it really was.

=============================================================================


GSV (86)


Imagine love

Without mine and thine

Beyond, heart and mind

As a substance of dancing souls

Imagine love

Past, reason and charm

Ahead of, in's and out's,rise and falls

As a music vibrant to eye

Imagine love

Far away from wishes and desires

Moreover, forever and never

As a light apparent to ears

Imagine love

Inspite of, gloom and glee

Besides, expectation and dependancy

As an unmerited favor to be free

Imagine to spell love

Without 'U' and 'I'

Now without imagining

Experience

Love, only love...



====================================================================



Konfessioner Singh (152)


This sun shines love


There’s sun shining down on her face
her eye twitches
the traces of a smile dance on dry lips
she knows I’m here
our love is 21 years old.


S-u-n-s-h-i-n-e! she says
not without difficulty
there’s pain
a lot of pain
but I laugh and sink
into her arms open wide…


I feel the shiver of blue veined fingers
with their single ring
on the back of my neck
and a kiss on my forehead.


The same biscuity sweater smell
labored breathing
the pain’s getting harder and I can’t swallow
and so the tears flow…


Sunshine lies buried
in her Origin’s embrace
her childhood seems to be slipping away.


And she feels her child’s pain
S-i-rr vih-tcch daa-rd hai-gaa?
Nahi ma, hun thik ho gaya!


She smiles and pinches my red nosetip
Her liquid eyes singing our song


And so I mutter a million times
Oh please don’t take
My Sunshine away…




Thursday, 13 December 2007

Candle


Candle


  • a long, usually slender piece of tallow or wax with an embedded wick that is burned to give light.
  • something resembling a candle in appearance or use.
  • to examine (eggs) for freshness, fertility, etc., by holding them up to a bright light.


[Entries Closed]



Mickey the Monkey (120)


Last Christmas, we decided to visit Jane's mother.

Whole day, we jumped across trees reaching my mother-in-law's home by evening.

The butler ushered us into that huge mansion.

Jane and kids went up to meet her mother.

I waited in the lavishly decorated hall.

There were expensive paintings, and sculptures all around.

Then I saw, on a side table, a basket full of fruits.

Apples, oranges, grapes and bananas, all so fresh.

I couldn't resist, hungry that I was, picked up one ripe yellow banana.

The moment I was to bite the fleshy fruit, my mother-in-law exclaimed,

"What are you doing monkey, that's not banana, that's a candle".

"Decorative candles, I know" I smiled foolishly "I was just smelling them".



Nandini Sen (111)


Holding her candle high, little Payal walked silently with a hundred others. She didn’t know anything about silent candlelight processions against injustice. She only knew that her Jessica aunt was murdered and justice had not been done. The lit candle was her weapon. She hoped its blazing flame would spread light in the dark corners of the authority’s minds.


Payal remembered her mother had said that a candle depicts true love. The matchstick burns itself to light the candle, and the candle melts away in its memory, while holding up a blazing light. Payal hoped that her melting candle and its blazing light showed her love & concern for Jessica aunty.



Dok Saab (119)


I was fixing small white candles all over the walls, railings and windows since afternoon. My five-year-old brother Chhotu was very excited and running to bring the packets of new candles.
"Manda, when will you light them"
"After Mummy does the pooja, Chhotu, when it's dark."
"But Manda, how many matchboxes will you need to light all those thousand candles we have fixed"
"Chhotu, you need just one small spark to ignite the whole world"
He couldn't understand this.
After the pooja, I went to the terrace with Chhotu. I lighted a big candle with a single match, and lit all the small candles one by one.
Chhotu was looking in disbelief at our home, the brightest in town.



Truth Dude (9)




light my fire
the candle's desires
melting to glory





GSV(112)


Is it her luminance which eliminates the darkness of whole world fascinates me ?

Is it her color or shape which attracts the buyers with I am bewitched ?

Is it her tears which she sheds and no one hears allures me ?

Is it her incense which fills ambience spreads the fragrance of love within me ?

Is it her sizzling lips which sparkle vivid colors for I have been made to kiss and die ?

I don't remember how many times I have been born to meet same fate.

I have no regret for my short life, just wished to know...

why I die everytime for a piece of Candle...?



Kavish Sinha (120)


CANDLE


I am on fire, I am burning bright

I am haloed by the sweet decay of light

I am breathing memory, I am laying stone

I am poor's light, and I am on my own

I am blinking in the twilight even when I needn't be

I am yellow, I am blue and together we shall be

I am spent five times in sorrow, in joy even more

I am bruised and lie broken on Mother Mary's shore

I am the light between two lovers aloof

I am lasting fading glow, I am the final proof

I am wasted with the ticking clock with many unsaid words...

I am the candle flickering in your night, just waiting to be heard.



Sarang Mahajan(116)


A candle burns in the broken hut on hill;

flickers as the wind blows

Eerie silhouettes dance at the window,

As a plant in a round pot bows


‘The devil wakes again! See, his fingers,’

They whisper in the town down the hill

The shadow of the plant, squirms and wriggles,

filling their hearts with chill.


While the candle burns and the people shiver,

A boy secretly descends from the hut

With a crafty smile, he pockets a matchbox

While people in their houses are shut


‘Candle fights darkness, tells the whole world,’

He says breaking into a stable

‘It also helps devil release the cattle from the butcher,’

He says as goats escape with babble





Dr. Sweta Singh aka Coffeeismypoison(142)


should i light,this candle tonight?
Candle light,
burning bright...
should I light,
its wick tonight...
will you come,
share with me...
some food,some wine,
some love some time?


Stick of wax,
though it maybe...
like us,its has,
a destiny...


Candle light,
shines just right.
Must i decide,
its fate tonight?
should it commence,
its long descent...?
what shall it see?
A glorious date...
or just another woman,
and her fruitless wait?


Candle light,
prays it might,
witness scenes of sweet passion...
the making of perfection...
in the space of this night.
Not words of accusation
anger so destructible...
blotting all hope
of peace and salvation!


Candle light
burning bright
cast your might,
upon us tonight.
and as you melt,
so fearlessly...
I'll tell them all,to learn from thee.
A tale of how sometimes...
one must die to see,
fulfillment of
one's destiny.



Genuine Fake(120)


I stepped out on the platform to see him waiting for me. Those weary eyes, shone with the light of a thousand candles. He kept walking, toward the countryscape, silent and in his own, with me in tow. Sixteen years earlier, I had left him, in pursuit of my dreams. He bid me adieu with his endearing smile, which haunted my conscience every night since then. The desire to hug him and tell him was overwhelming today. Fulfillment of the desire, however, was overlooked by the falsehood of self-esteem. Quiet discussions on work and life otherwise, followed that night over dinner. Sleep followed.

He however slept on forever.

“The vow that binds too strictly snaps itself”.

I miss you. Pa.



Hummingnerd (120)


The candle flares, then gutters, swallows flame...

and I'm lost in inevitable metaphors, writing for fame;

I am attempting to use my words

to illustrate the flame and its significance,

the shadows under the candle light…

If that to you makes any sense.


We walk among ghosts,

swamped in lies of secret seas,

encircled by fears and hypocrisies;

For days, months, how many years…

this darkness' clung to us…soul deep.

Still they say -

It's better to light one small candle

than to curse the darkness for the broken fleet.


The wick is too short now,

Our candle is flickering somehow;

Before, the humbled husk separates from the seed,

I think its time…

A new candle is all we need.



Anonymous(29)


C lock ticks
A month or more, before horizons grey
N o safe havens found
D arkness flickering..
L ight holds sway
E xistence fragile echoes with life's play.




Konfessioner Singh (114)


Butter-lamp bardo
when does it end?



I have slipped into black, green, blue rivers
With waves of red.
Cradled islands; balanced…
balanced, on that twang
of a faraway invisible veena…



And the subtle shiver of a swan song
has crawled,
crawled with me
while
I have whistled along paths up mountains
only to be defeated
by winds of a different kind.

Unfriendly is this growth--
panch koshas expand
only to expend.

My wings aren’t wax
no, not wax.
The wicker of my body
does not yet burn.

But
She Is.
So I ask-
Dhaaran-e-dhaara kad?

Butter lamp bardo
When does it start?
Is my candle yet unlit?

Or is my childhood spent
...and
me?